XMas Fish says hello!

This morning was the busiest I've ever seen it. All kinds of swimmers, kids splashing around, old people just walking through the pool and stirring up all the sand. Good times, good times. Oh well it's only 1 day of the year ...

Ho Ho Ho! XMas Fish says hello!

Here is a photo of a friendly little SANTA FISH! He wants to say hello. Please be aware that I used CGI to create this picture -- the fish isn't really wearing a Santa hat!

Now, I was given a "rashie" for Christmas which is pretty  much like a stretchy t-shirt that you wear in the water. Like a poor-man's wetsuit, if you like.

Since wearing this in the water, I have noticed the fish are much more friendly. Today I spent a few minutes swimming in big lazy circles while about 20 fish followed behind me. Then when I stopped they all circled me, easily within a meter. Mostly Zebra fish, but a couple of Blowfish there too.

It is possible that they are mistaking my dark-purple rashie for the skin of a friendly seal. Fish will often swim behind an Arctic seal and nibble at the crumbs that it leaves behind as it feeds. Either that, or they are simply getting used to seeing me. The fear is gone. I'm really building a bond with these little guys.

I am busy with my kids for 4 days now. But next weekend, I should be able to post my "Map of the Pool". This will show the best (and worst) spots to check out, when you get to Mettam's Pool.

Happy Christmas snorkellers!

-Gray

The Trap and the Rocks

Working with the enemy! An Angel-fish helps Blowfish to hunt.

Today I had quite a fright. A huge Angel fish, similar to the one seen here, was coming right up to me. It was within touching distance, floating slowly. It was mouthing something, and despite trying, I couldn't lip-read what it was telling me. I found myself entranced by this friendly little fellow, and watched carefully as he performed a little dance in the water! He floated, twirled, and spun gracefully!

It turned out to be just a distraction, because as I glanced to the side I saw the mother of all Blowfish swarms surrounding me. At least 20 of the vicious predators were about to strike. I managed to swim away quickly enough to avoid being bitten. If I had panicked, I may not have made it back to shore.

This is the first time I've seen this tactic used -- inter-species co-operation. The Angel fish is helping the Blowfish to catch their prey. This is very similar to the way that the Velociraptor hunted in the documentary "Jurassic Park". In this educational film, we can see the way that distraction, or "misdirection", is used to catch a victim.

So please be careful, if a harmless fish seems more friendly than usual -- maybe it just wants to say hello. Or maybe it's working in cahoots with the Blowfish "hive mind". Keep your wits about you!

Hunter! The Raptor perfected techniques still used by fish today

Here is an actual Velociraptor. Although it lives in the jungle rather than the ocean, it uses the same type of techniques. This is further proof that the fish is directly descended from the dinosaur (for the similarities between the trout and the dilophosaurus, check this previous Blog entry).

Also today, I had big problems trying to get in and out of the water. In the main ocean bit, away from the tidal pool, there are rocks. Because of the lapping tide, sand was being stirred up, and I couldn't see the rocks. I could easily have damaged my flippers as I stumbled across them. Getting out was worse, as I slipped on the rocks and embarrassingly fell face-down in 3-inch deep water. Fortunately everybody at the beach in the mornings is over 80 years old, so none of them had the eyesight to actually notice. But if anybody has any tips, please let me know. Thanks.

Although you all look up to me as your Mentor in snorkelling, I too have much to learn. "Learn much, must I, still to." as Yoda said.(Ultimate Yoda impression ).

-Gray

Snorkelling Watch

Today saw the arrival of the temperature gauge ($8 on eBay) -- which completes my snorkeling wristwatch. Here is a photo of the band:

Critical info: Ambient water temp, and heading. Don't snorkel without it!

No, it's not as uncomfortable as it looks. Yes, it is as useless as it looks. I just want to see how many gadgets I can hang off my wrist. If anybody knows where I can find a tiny barometer / wind gauge / altimeter / depth gauge or whatever else, let me know!

Here is the front:

Gulfman: The watch of choice for the US Coast Guard. (probably not...)

The final phase will be to open it up and fill it with silicone oil. This will enable it to theoretically reach depths of 500m*, and withstand even greater temperature changes (from the freezer, into a hot shower, without cracking the gasket). All necessary for the avid snorkeller like myself.


-Gray

* My current free-diving record is approximately 4 meters.

Quick-Start FAQ of Frequently Asked Questions to Quick-Start Snorkelling (QSFAQOFAQTQSS)

So you want to try snorkelling? Good for you! Snorkelling is one of the fastest-growing extreme sports in the world, and is definitely the cheapest and most inferior way to view the world beneath the waves! Read on for everything you need to know ...

How old is snorkelling?
Snorkelling has been around since the 14th Century, when highly-trained Ninjas would use hollow reeds to move underwater without being seen. Prior to this, pearl divers had been snorkelling without masks, or a snorkel.

Isn't snorkelling just "a poor man's scuba diving"?
Yes, this is a very apt way to describe the sport of snorkelling. However, if I had thousands of dollars to dump into scuba diving, I wouldn't be writing a Snorkelling blog.

What type of snorkel is the best?
Basically, a snorkel is a snorkel. The retail people will tell you that the SnorkelMate 4000 with teflon coating, automatic dump valve and electro-carbon splash guard will let you have more fun. But you can have just as much fun with a $9 Big W snorkel.

If you're going to dump $200 on a snorkel with all the bells and whistles, you may as well go the whole hog and learn scuba diving. A snorkel is a plastic tube that you breathe through. End of story.

A purge valve or purge snorkel will have a one-way valve at the bottom. This helps channel away the water when you surface, and exhale sharply. Almost all snorkels should have this feature.

A semi-dry or splash guard snorkel will have some type of guard over the top opening. This is to help stop waves and splashes entering the pipe. This is nice, but certainly not necessary (I don't use this kind of snorkel myself).

A dry snorkel will have some type of "float valve" at the top, which closes when the top of the snorkel sinks below the water level. The idea is that the snorkel won't fill with water, so you don't have to blow to clear it when surfacing. What a load of crap. What next, GPS tracking on your snorkel? Underwater MP3 player built-in? There is simply no need for this type of valve. It just adds weight and drag to your snorkel. Only an absolute sissy would buy this kind of snorkel.

What type of mask is the best?
With masks, you really get what you pay for. If you're going to spend $15 for a "Fun Snorkel Diving Mask!" from China, expect to get salt water in your eyes.

Now, you don't need to go for anything too fancy, but at least budget $40 for a good-quality mask with tempered glass and silicon skirting. You don't need a purge valve, tinted glass, magnifying glass, or any other crap. You don't need heads-up display, windscreen wipes, or anti-fog air jets.

Do I need flippers?
Flippers add significantly to the cost of snorkelling, and since you're reading this Blog, I can assume you're a cheap-ass like myself.

You certainly don't need flippers to snorkel, and in fact I usually don't use mine. But they are great to have as an option when you want to swim further out, or just explore more thoroughly without using too much energy. They also allow you to stay underwater for longer, as you can blast along the sea-bed like a demented stingray, without using any energy. Swimming breaststroke underwater will use your arm muscles, and force you up for air much sooner.

If you are going to use flippers, remember -- lift your feet way up high when walking into the water. Yes, you look like a bit of a knob, but it stops the blades bending backwards and tripping you. When the water is around your shins, you need to turn around and walk backwards. Now you will look even stupider. When the water is around your knees, you can turn and launch yourself forwards into the water like an overweight turtle. Now you're snorkelling!

How do I care for my equipment?
This is easy. Rinse as soon as possible after swimming, with fresh water (that means water that isn't from the ocean). Always dry in the shade, not direct sunlight. Try to avoid putting sun-cream on your face, where you mask will sit -- it can warp the skirting.

My mask is fogging up.
Before you enter the water, spit in it. You don't need to clear your throat of last night's meal; just a bit of saliva is fine. Wipe it around the glass. Then quickly dunk it under the water. This should stop most fogging. There is no scientific explanation for why this works. It just does.


Can't I use "anti-fog spray", available from my local dive/adventure shop?
Sure, but as I just told you -- spit works fine. So save that $10, send it to me instead, and do like the rest of us do -- spit.


You yuppie.


What other equipment do I need?
Basically nothing. I invested in this watch because it has a tide graph, titanium (rust-proof) not stainless steel, and it's orange like the stuff American Coast Guard "Rescue Swimmers" wear ("The Guardian" on IMDb).

Unfortunately, I have since learned that the tide graph won't work for Perth (diurnal tides). Stainless steel takes a long time to rust -- titanium is completely unnecessary.



But it's still orange. So it's paid for itself, as far as I'm concerned. However, it does seem to scare the fish a little ...

What training do I need?
To snorkel safely for the first time, you will need to be able to swim. Although this sounds like common sense, many needless deaths occur every year by non-swimmers trying to snorkel.

Also, it is helpful to have some understanding of breathing.

What is "spearfishing"?
I would like to be serious for a moment. Spearfishing is the barbaric practice of using a spear-gun to shoot innocent fish, and kill or maim them. It made sense back in the 1920's when we didn't have boats or fishing nets. But in this day and age, it is needlessly cruel, and should be banned. There are perfectly humane ways to catch fish for food, such as a fishing line with a razor-sharp hook, or a drift-net which suffocates the fish over several hours.

Spearfishing takes the beautiful, peaceful pass-time of snorkelling -- and turns it into a blood-sport. This is the same as somebody learning ballet, and then attaching knives and throwing stars to their limbs, and using the dance to slaughter the audience. It just doesn't make sense!

If you see somebody spearfishing, remember -- do not approach them. There is a high probability that they are a Bogan, and may turn violent against you. Just return to your peaceful snorkelling, and console yourself that some day, they will spear a Blowfish, and will probably get swarmed and killed.

Where can I snorkel?
If you live near the ocean, then snorkel there. Bog Snorkeling is not quite as much fun.

Of course, you don't need to be in the Bahamas or Great Barrier Reef. You can snorkel almost anywhere. Please remember, if you are snorkelling in a harbour, there may be boats nearby! Snorkellers are often not seen by boat drivers, and may be run over. Especially if the boat is filled with drunk Bogans returning from a piss-up at Rotto.

Snorkelling in a pool is generally boring, especially if you're the only one in it.

Sharks. Do I need to worry?
All jokes aside, I am quite passionate about sharks. One day I will learn Scuba Diving, and I'll dive with some sharks.

They are misrepresented by the media. I won't bang on about it (I'll save it for a future blog entry), but let me make one point clear -- you are much more likely to be horribly killed in a car accident, driving to the beach, than even seeing a shark. And if you do see it, chances are it'll swim away from you.

If you're interested, check out Save Our Sharks and also SharkWater.com. Sharkwater is a superb film/documentary and I recommend you check it our at your local DVD rental shop. 

OK, I'm snorkelling -- what should I look out for?
The natural instinct of most people born after 1980 will be to thrash quickly through the water, viewing as much of the reef as possible. When you do happen to spot a fish, you will try to reach down and grab it.


This is because of our society, with it's TV-on-demand, fast cars and express drive-through coffee franchises (Muzz Buzz was MY idea. I'll never forgive myself for not acting on it.)

The "correct" way to snorkel is to relax, move slowly, and let the underwater world sooth your brain. Float idly while the fish forage and fight beneath you. Feel the connection to the ocean -- remember, the ancestors of man-kind climbed out of the ocean just a few million years ago. You belong here!

A peaceful 30 minutes with your face in the water can relieve all the stress of the day, and put you in a calm and contemplative frame of mind. The heavy traffic on the way home will instantly destroy this, but it's nice while it lasts.

Study the fish, watch the way they behave, maybe duck-dive down to the bottom and swim behind them. Although this seems playful and enjoyable to us, I'm sure from the fishes point of view, you are some terrifying beast from another world chasing them while they scream in terror to their fish friends -- "Geika! Geika!" (for more info, watch the first 30 seconds of this YouTube clip ).

I keep bumping into other snorkellers! How can I avoid this?
You can't. Even when you specifically look out for others, you often won't see them approaching. Just give a "sorry wave", and keep going. If the person you bumped into is very attractive and wearing a bikini, you may prefer to stop, remove your mask, and engage in some snorkel-related conversation*.
 

Argh! Swimmers are pounding through the water and scaring away the fish!
This is common and unavoidable. The only thing you can do is pull off your mask, and scream loudly "SHARK! SHARK!" while waving your arms. This should clear the water for the next 30 minutes or so, allowing you to snorkel in peace. 

If you have any further questions, please leave them in the Comments section below. I will try to answer quickly and honestly. Thanks for reading, and I hope this guide helped you! Or at least inspired you to try snorkeling.

Keep your mask clear and your shorts wet!
 
-Gray


*Snorkel-related conversation = try to get her phone number 

Shells and Waves

Good day fellow explorers!

Every now and again, I will grab an interesting shell from the bottom, and bring it home. Today I would like to share a couple of my shells with you. Please be aware that "shell poaching" is illegal in most states of Australia. I generally hide the shell inside my shorts.

Firstly, we have a lovely example of the "corkscrew shell", or "corkimimus shellicus". This is a very rare find, and I have only found 1 so far. As with all shells, they are created on the shores of France by hand.

Corkimimus shellicus. The rare corkscrew shell.

Next, please take a look at this magnificent snail shell (in latin: snailem shellicus). This example is virtually flawless. A close examination reveals the intricate detail that make this shell one of the most beautiful in the ocean. These shells tend to be a home for beautiful "sea snails", which move gently along the seabed, nibbling at seaweed and nourishing the water around them -- until they are brutally ripped from their home by a Blowfish, and eaten alive while still screaming. Enjoy the pics!

Sad but beautiful. Previously a home for a lovely Sea Snail.

Finally, have a look at this magical shell which I found just this afternoon. It is fairly worn away and needs a good clean, but one side of it displays every colour of the rainbow! This is a type of defence mechanism for the shell's inhabitant -- when a predator approaches, the swirling colours of the shell will often hypnotise it, and put it into a trance. This allows the shell's occupant to crawl away safely. I will dub this the "rainbow shell", obviously.

Rainbow! No camera can show the real beauty of this shell.

Finally, I would like to say a few words about the ocean. I will be getting a bit "Zen-master" on you here, but bear with me. After my permitted 6 minutes of sunbathing (fair skin), I sat up and found myself hypnotised by the gentle waves breaking on the sand. It got me thinking about the ocean, that timeless puddle of water which covers two-thirds of our planet (more info here ). I had some very, very deep thoughts about the very nature of humanity and it's relationship to the magma-filled ball that we call "Earth". Unfortunately I forgot those thoughts on the drive home.

Now, to digress ... Every night for about 2 months, I have been putting Naturespace on my bedside speaker dock, playing the sound of the ocean waves. (Naturespace, more info here ) is "holographic audio" for iPhone and iPod Touch. It sounds amazing over the ear-buds, but the gentle sound of the waves works great through speakers too. It has literally become like a "sleep switch" to me -- I turn it on, I fall asleep. I don't even hear it any more. (Obviously this is a huge problem when I want to sleep away from home, because I can't ...) Anyway, try the App if you want -- it's completely free unless you want to buy more tracks of different environments. I use "Liquid Phase" which was $2 or something. But they're all great. There are rainforests, storms, beaches, summer nights, alien jungles ... All sorts.

Hopefully in the next day or so I will be posting an FAQ for new snorkellers!

Be the shark, not the coral!

-Gray

Blowfish Attack and the Friendly Fish

Quick entry before work today. I wanted to use the camera again as I'm returning it today. So my last photos for a while.

I was in the water at 7am today so the lighting isn't very good, but here you can clearly see video evidence of a Blowfish swarm. A swarm happens when the Blowfish are preparing to attack their prey. Generally they will swarm behind a snorkeller, either attracted by bits of dead skin or just the smell of warm flesh. But today there was an elderly gentleman standing still in the water. He was actually staring out to sea at a stingray and wasn't aware of the predators swarming around his legs. I managed to catch it on video. WARNING: These images may disturb some viewers. Discretion is advised.

So you can clearly see at least 10 Blowfish surrounding the victim. Incidentally, the so-called "stingray" was just a distant tail splashing into the water. I probably should have swum out and tried to get it on film.  Maybe next time.

Cauliflower coral. Not considered dangerous.

In other news -- here is a shot of some "cauliflower coral". It is not an aggressive variety of coral, and in fact can be approached and touched without any pain. You can learn more about my theory of coral attacks in my previous blog entry.












Finally here is a quick snap of a friendly little "zebrus angelica" or, as you will remember, "Zebra Angel fish". I have found that if you float still for a while, these little guys will become complacent and swim very close to you! It's great. The only downside is that any nearby Blowfish seem to assume you will be easy prey, and they will quickly begin circling closer to you.

Next entry, I'd like to take a look at some final photos, including the common "fat lipped trout".

Enjoy your snorkeling!

-Gray

Rottnest Part 2 of 2

The second and final place we snorkelled at Rottnest was "Little Parakeet Bay". I didn't see any Parakeets at all, let alone little ones. No matter. What I did see was about 30 young people, lounging around on the beach. They were skimming stones, laughing, and talking amongst themselves in calm voices -- all the things a snorkeller hates. There is nothing worse than gently floating along the bottom, watching a sleek grey Trout swimming ahead of you -- and suddenly some teenager comes diving down in his $200 Ripcurl shorts, holding his breath for longer than you, and flexing his artificially enhanced musculature and scaring away the fish. Sick of it.

Handsome underwater explorer! Gray makes love to the camera.

Anyway, the first challenge was negotiating the beach without falling. Everything on Rottnest Island is sloped. There is literally no square metre of ground which is flat. The beach was about a 45 degree angle. I'm pretty sure one of my towels rolled down into the ocean and floated away. Eventually, I hit the water, and it all seemed worth it ...

At this bay, the water is about 1 foot deep for a while, then suddenly drops straight down to a few meters and you find yourself face-to-face with friendly little fish.

Here is a shot of me. Brilliant.

This was also the first time I've had room to dive down deep enough that I get terrible pain in my ears. Conventional "science" will tell you that this is due to the pressure differential at depth, between your inner and outer ears. But I will tell you that it's the coral. It is a well-known fact that coral isn't actually a plant, or an animal -- it's somewhere in-between. Basically, we understand nothing about this plant/animal hybrid, or "planimal" as I call it. And it doesn't want to be touched by humans. Damaged coral can take centuries, or even years, to recover.

It is my theory that when coral senses a non-fish life form nearby, it emits a wail which is out of the range of human hearing -- but it causes intense pain. Like a dog whistle. The only solution is to rise a few feet above the coral. My tests proved that this stops the pain altogether. I didn't save a picture of any coral, but you can see some lurking ominously in the background of this photo. In the foreground is a "zebrus angelica", or "Zebra Angel fish":

Finally, here is a very short video of me duck-diving. The water isn't very clear (it's 3:30pm in this vid).

Thanks for reading and stay wet!

-Gray

Rottnest Part 1 of 2

Howdy sea-farers!

Well yesterday I went on my trip to Rottnest. So if you are thinking of making a similar trip yourself, maybe you can learn a thing or two from my experiences. Here is the main summary; I will post again later about some other random things that happened.

Let me quickly get the complaints out of the way first. Skip this part if you don't like negativity.

From getting in the car at Joondalup (8:30am), to stepping onto a beach at Rottnest (12:00pm), was 3.5 hours. Too long. The return trip was the same. Technically that's 7 hours travel in a day for 4 hours of available "snorkel time". Not worth it.

On the trip out, there were bogans next to us on the boat. Very unpleasant. Some sort of "bogan screening" at boarding time would be helpful here. Buses only ran every hour on the island. Not enough. After snorkelling we tried to enjoy some food and drink in Dome. They had closed the kitchen (4:20pm!). Ridiculous. We went to Red Rooster, which was out of stock in just about everything except fish and chips. Brilliant. Oh, and Quokkas -- one was eating scraps from underneath the table. Inside the restaurant. Hmmm.

Nothing happening! Parker Point at noon.

OK complaints over. The first of our two snorkels was at "Parker Point". Here is a photo of the bay. Pretty nice little spot, with great visibility (15 meters?). Unfortunately not a great deal happening under the water. But that never stopped me from concocting-- I mean, "sniffing out" a good story.

Here you can see a photo of the strange behaviour of an Angel fish. It was floating in a semi-vertical position near the seabed. This leads me to conclude that it was either dead, dying, or meditating. I would have said sleeping, but it's beady little eyes were open.

Zombie fish! An Angel fish levitates at Parker Point.

Now, educated readers will immediately notice that (a) it's not actually an Angel fish, and (b) fish don't meditate. But I think pictures speak louder than words, so kindly put this picture in your pipe and smoke it. Suggestions welcome as to what was wrong with this little fellow.

Finally, I would like to share another photo with you. Sometimes, when a camera is being used, everything will click. The lighting will fall perfectly, the subject will strike the perfect natural pose, and the universe will align in such a way that a picture is produced -- a picture which is beyond imagining. I would like to present such a photo to you, gentle reader.

I assume you've all seen the movie "Casino Royal" with Daniel Craig? The shot where he steps out of the ocean, pulling back his wet hair while getting the attention of the sexy horse-riding lady? I will say no more.

Watch this space for another entry which will include my adventures at the second snorkel spot (Little Parakeet Bay), some other photos and, hopefully, a video clip of myself duck-diving.

Keep the sun at your back and the seaweed at your feet!

-Gray

Beyond the Pool

Good afternoon, my fishy friends!

Hit the beach at 9am. Strangely, the water was packed with other people! There must have been about 20 other snorkellers there. Clearly, people have been reading my Blog and are venturing out to try this extreme sport for themselves! Well done to everybody there.

Anyway, I used this as an excuse to snorkel somewhere new. I entered the water about 25m further along the beach, away from the families and the sounds of laughter. I gazed at the incoming swell, the 6-inch high breakers, and the jagged rocks of the open ocean -- and I swam. Before I knew it, I was about 100m away from land. It was like a different world!

The bottom was, in places, 5m below me, and strange rock formations formed loops and bridges, covered in seaweed which pulsed with the swell of the ocean. The Blowfish, so deadly and threatening in the shallow pool, was nowhere to be found. Presumably they prefer the easier hunting grounds of the shallow water. This had allowed all sorts of other fish to flourish, and I saw at least 2 new species (which I haven't yet identified).

Underwater forest! As seen from the surface. (c) Freephoto.com

I moved parallel to the beach and back towards the pool. I found myself flailing over razor-sharp rocks, some only inches from the surface, and each capable of slicing through my femal arteries. Finally, I passed over this barrier and discovered a sea-floor covered in "kelp". This is a type of seaweed which flourishes in deeper water. It is relatively harmless to humans. Here is a photo of a "kelp forest", as seen from the surface.

One day I'll have a decent underwater camera happening. That should liven up this blog ...

I also spotted some strange fish, schooling in their hundreds in the shade of a huge rock formation. For want of any actual information, I will assume that these fish are descended from the domestic Goldfish, or "goldin aqua domestica", in Latin. (further reading here ).

Mon cherie! Francoise takes a break from shell-making

Finally, I managed to collect a couple of interesting shells. Shells (more info here ) are actually made by French dock-women, who use them to fashion necklaces, for selling at markets. They are made in a way similar to clay pottery. These shells invariably end up washed into the ocean, where they are carried around the world by the California Current. I have included a photo of a French shell-maker, Francoise, who is taking a break from her work to sample some delicious grapes from her Father's vineyard.

Finally, I saw my beloved Bumblebee Fish for the second time! He was out past the rock wall, obviously driven there by the aggressive Blowfish. But he seemed happy! Bless him.

Today has made me feel like I have evolved from a "pool explorer" to a fully-fledged "open water explorer". I am now truly ready to tackle Rottnest Island, which will be on Tuesday!

May you never sneeze with your mask on!

- Gray, Certified Open-Water Explorer, unassisted, level 2 licence. 

EDIT: If you scroll down you can see a representation of these "wild Goldfish". The yellow one is our friend, "Bumblebee Fish"! Click to feed the little guys.

Giant fish, tiny fish and Dilophosaurus

Greetings bottom-feeders!

This morning I didn't hit the water until 7:30. It was cold but clear. I managed to make three important observations today, which I would like to share with you all. This is despite several rude interruptions by "swimmers", whom I will deal with in a future blog post.

Here are the three discoveries I made this morning:

Gojira! The real Godzilla swimming.

1 - The Giant Blowfish, aka "Fishzilla". Slowly floating over a rocky outcrop, I watched as this beast drifted around the rock and stared straight at me. I tell you my friends, it was a foot long if it was an inch! By far the largest specimen of the deadly blowfish that I've ever come across. It would easily have weighed several kilograms -- large enough to be a man-eater? Needless to say, I didn't stick around to find out!

The real question is, was this just a one-off specimen; a Queen of some kind? The mac-daddy of the Trigg Tidal Pool? ... Or worse, was it just a scout for a new breed, a "super blowfish" if you will, which are probing into the Pool as a new hunting ground? This latter possibility is the most concerning. With the safety of snorkelers and swimmers in the forefront of my mind, I will keep an eye out for any other beasts like this, and report back to you here ...

2 - The Baby Fish. Floating under a rocky outcrop I thought I saw a swarm of particles, like a duststorm. I blinked and rubbed madly at the faceplate of my mask ... Then I ducked down to the sea-bed for a better look. These little fish were a centimetre or less long! And there was about 50 of them. I gently reached out a hand and they swarmed out of the way, like mosquitoes over a swamp. After this, they reformed in their original position, beneath the rock ledge. There were no adult fish in the area. This must have been some kind of fish "nursery".

I will try to find these baby fish each time I snorkel, and form a bond with them. My hope is that by the time they have grown into full-sized trout, they will remember me and will swarm around me, protecting me from Blowfish during my snorkels. My own fish army! I will become Lord of the Trout!

3 - Sand-spitting Trout. I noticed a few times that Trout can eject sand from their mouths, forming a small cloud in the water. This is clearly some type of weapon, probably used to blind and disorient other fish that try to eat them. It is also irrefutable proof that the common Trout is directly descended from the dinosaurs! Specifically, the Dilophosaurus, which can be seen in all it's acid-spitting glory in the scientific documentary, "Jurassic Park".

Venom Spitter! Dilophosaurus, ancestor of the Trout.

If you carefully look at this photo of the actual Dilophosaurus from the documentary, you can see the similarities in the jaw and eyes, to a Trout.

The fact that these kinds of observations aren't being made by scientific professionals (aka "marine biologists") is a pity. They are obviously too concerned with the bigger picture, the ecology, the sharks, etc. -- when they only need to look into a small tidal pool to discover a wealth of new information! New species, evolving under our very noses! And it's all being left to me, and amateur snorkelers like me, to discover and document.

But it's a job I'm proud to be doing.

May your flippers stay dry, and your tongue stay salty!

- Gray, Lord of the Trout

Fish-O-Pedia Entry 1

Greetings land lubbers!

Strong wind has kept me away from the ocean this afternoon. So I decided to knuckle down and complete the first entry in my Fish-O-Pedia! Enjoy this detailed look at the actual wildlife which I've observed at Trigg Tidal Pool. Learn the "common name" for each fish, followed by the Latin original.

Fish-O-Pedia, page 1, 9/12/10, All Rights Reserved (c)

More pages to follow.

Also, keep an eye out for future blogs I may be starting -- Gray's Scuba Diving Adventures(*), and Gray's Scooter Adventures(**)!

May your mask stay fog-free, and your purge valve dry!

-Gray

* - Likelihood of me saving $500 to take a scuba diving course = 0%
** - Scooter won't be purchased until end of March 2011

Working on a Fish-o-Pedia

Hi faithful reader(s)!


Unfortunately, I was unable to trek out past the rock wall this morning, because it was low tide. The rock wall was literally breaking through the surface in some places. I decided to try again on Sunday.

CGI! A Yellow Tang is disguised as the new "Bumblebee Fish"

It turned out to be a blessing, as I discovered two new species in the tide pool! Quite amazing that after at least 10 snorkel trips in the same pool, I can still see new things. Today I saw something that looked like a normal "angel fish", but had yellow & black stripes. It really was beautiful. I could not find a picture of this fish on the internet, which leads me to believe I have discovered a brand new species! Anyway, I took a picture of a common Yellow Tang, and used Microsoft Paint to superimpose some stripes on it. Enjoy! I shall name this new species the "Bumblebee Fish".

The second new fish I saw was sort of like a Blowfish but thinner. I quickly grew bored and moved on. In hindsight, maybe it was just a really, really hungry Blowfish.

The water was crystal clear today. The surface was like a sheet of glass, if that glass was wet, and was rippling up and down somehow. The visibility underneath was the highest I've ever seen it -- I could literally see my car from underwater*. Amazing!

So, I have decided to start cataloguing the various fish I see. Rather than actually research these fish, I will draw assumptions and conjecture from my limited observations, and build my own "Fish-o-Pedia"! I hope to be able to post a scan of this document in the next few days.

Sure, "science" will tell you that this is Species X, it lives in area Y, and eats Z. But "science" isn't out there on the frontline, swimming in one specific geological area and observing fish with blurry vision (I can't wear my glasses with the mask on, obviously). When you want real-world information, you know where to go - Gray's Snorkeling Adventures. Watch this space, folks.

Sand, ocean and a tree.

I will leave you with this photo. This is exactly what it looks like, where I snorkel. If I snorkelled in Oahu, Hawaii, that is ...

Keep your face down and snorkel up, you salt-encrusted sea-dogs!
-Gray


* This statement is a descriptive exaggeration and isn't necessarily true.

Follow me on twitter, "graywebster".

Tomorrow - The DROP OFF!

Provided there is no wind tomorrow morning, I'm going to aim to push further than I've ever pushed before. I'm going to blur the line between "snorkelling" and "deep-sea diving", and venture beyond the confines of the rocks. This will literally put me out in the open ocean. If you have been reading my previous entries, you will know that within the "pool" I have found endless variety, surprises, and danger. Once I pass over this "drop-off" (technical term that I learned from the movie "Finding Nemo"), your guess is as good as mine as to what I'll find. Since I've been practising every day, I believe I could dive down to about 5 meters in the open ocean. Perhaps it will be pitch black at that depth; I'll have to wait and see.

To reach the wide blue depths, I will have to skim across possibly several miles* of thick seaweed, which is only about 2 feet from the surface. These gently waving weeds-of-the-sea will not only attempt to entangle and restrain me, but they also conceal all kinds of wildlife ... Including the dreaded Blowfish (see previous post). If I can make it through this aquatic jungle, then finally I'll then be at the full mercy of the sea. I envision 8-foot waves crashing down upon me, dragging me out to sea and/or slamming me against the very rocky wall that I seek to pass over.

Expect a detailed posting of this adventure tomorrow morning. Here is a detailed schematic view of my intended route.

My intended route tomorrow morning. (imaging courtesy of Google Earth (c)2010 )

On another note, I have purchased a camera to use at Rottnest next week. It is a disposable thing with film inside. I would have gotten a proper digital one, but I'm not sure how often I'll use it and they started at $250. This one was $22. The checkout lady gave me a strange look that said, "Wow, we still sell these things?".

I understand that I have to get these "films" "processed" or "developed" so that you can see the pictures or "prints". Presumably, I will then have to scan these photos into the computer, before I can use them in my Blog. Anyway, you can look forward to some blurry and faded shots of various pieces of coral, after next Tuesday.

Comments welcome below.

Stay salty!
-Gray



* several miles = several meters

Evolution of the Blowfish

"To humans, tetrodotoxin is deadly, up to 1,200 times more poisonous than cyanide. There is enough toxin in one pufferfish to kill 30 adult humans, and there is no known antidote."

I thought I would talk about Blowfish today. Sure, they look dangerous with their spines and expanding bodies, but are they actually dangerous? The answer is yes, yes they are. Let's learn a little more about this underwater equivalent to the jackal.

On my 7am snorkel today, I stumbled upon a "hive" of these creatures. At least 8 of them were huddled against the sandy floor, practically invisible. I could not identify which one was the Queen. But it was a wake-up call for me -- these things are breeding, and if I'm going to be spending time in the ocean, I'd better learn about my enemy. As Sun Tzu said in the 18th century, "Though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays." ... Hmmm ...

Incidentally, here is an except from Wikipedia which seems to prove my "eating shells" theory, which you will remember I observed a couple of days ago: "... refers to the four large teeth, fused into an upper and lower plate, which are used for crushing the shells of crustaceans and mollusks, their natural prey." Obviously, a side-effect of eating these shells is that it sharpens their beaks. This is useful for when they swarm together and attack other fish with tougher skin, such as angel-fish, or whale-sharks.

Here are the strengths of the Blowfish, as taken from the same Wikipedia article (which is here ):

STRENGTHS:
- Excellent eyesight: The Blowfish can see you before you see it. This enables it to stalk and surround it's prey, setting up the perfect ambush without being seen.
- Can fill stomach with water and "inflate" itself: Not only does this make the fish look scary, it also exposes the many razor-sharp spikes, which contain ...
- ... tetrodotoxin: A potentially lethal poison (more info here ). Note that the symptoms include paralysis, and there is no known anti-venom.
- Chameleon skin: Similar to the Predator (1987, Arnold Schwarzenegger), the Blowfish has developed the ability to blend into seaweed just as easily as the empty sand of the ocean floor. This is how they can so often remain undetected, until suddenly you realise that 6 of the damn things are right underneath you.

Attack! A Blowfish in Hawaii viscously attacks a camera lens.

Put all these traits together, and you can see why the Blowfish has become one of the most evolved and capable predators in the ocean today.

I will leave you with a sobering statistic -- in 2008, there were 5 deaths from eating Pufferfish, in Japan alone. Worldwide, shark attacks average less than 1 death per year ...

Rottnest next week

Some water and land.

Booked tickets to Rottnest Island for next Tuesday. I don't know much about Rottnest, except it is still a Spanish-owned island and it is illegal to drive a car there. Bicycles are the main method of transport, plus a bus that runs around the perimeter or something. I presume that if somebody took a car over there, the locals would run screaming away from you, thinking you are some kind of futuristic cyborg Godzilla (ya'll be screaming like "Gieaka! Gieaka!", Reece you know what I'm talking about).

If I can borrow an underwater camera that would be awesome. Hit me up on Facebook if you can loan me one.

If anybody knows the best spot(s) to snorkel on Rottnest, please leave a comment below since otherwise I'll end up getting smashed against some rocks, or swept out to sea, or something ...

The "rodentus maxima", or "giant rat"

Here is a picture of the local wildlife, the Quokka! Everybody's favourite little rodent. The Quokka is a distant relative of the squirrel, and/or bird. For more info on this fascinating animal, click here.

Cheers.

Sunday afternoon snorkel

Yes I returned for a second snorkel of the day. This is primarily due to my lack of a social life, rather than an overwhelming love of snorkelling.

In any case, the wind had picked up and the clouds had rolled in. So not the best conditions. But luckily I went in anyway because I happened to spot my old friend -- Squiddly! Last seen on Thursday, with his friend (Squiddly #2), I spent a good few minutes swimming around with this little guy. Getting closer, you can really see the shimmering green that surrounds his eyes. I would presume this is some kind of defence mechanism, but I'm far too lazy to google it.

Sea Bass

The obvious question is, of course, where is his friend? I have no proof to back this up, but my gut instinct as an experienced sea-farer tells me that he has been eaten by a trout (see picture to the right, which may or may not be a trout).

The other big event of this afternoon's swim was a startling discovery about Blowfish! Now, you can expect a detailed entry on Blowfish later in the week, because they are by far the most numerous, pesky, and downright aggressive little fish in this part of the ocean. But for now let me share with you the amazing behaviour I witnessed with my own eyes -- the Blowfish eats shells! Yes, empty shells lying in the sand at the bottom of the ocean, are the primary diet for these little fish. As I watched, four Blowfish attacked a shell with Piranha-like ferocity.

A quick Google search taught me that Blowfish don't actually have teeth; instead they have evolved a "beak". No doubt this is perfect for gnawing away at old shells, like the "rodents of the sea" that they so clearly are. The damage that this beak could do to human flesh is open to speculation. No doubt, sooner or later, I will get bitten by a swarm of these critters. When that happens, I will post pictures of the injury(s) they inflict on me.

Photo courtesy of www.sodahead.com

I will leave you with a picture of a deadly Blowfish on the attack. Remember, consuming these fish can be fatal, so I assume any skin contact with them in the ocean can be just as deadly. Nature doesn't give you spikes like this unless you are able to use them.

Finally, do you know of any other good places to Snorkel in Perth? Please leave a comment below with any suggestions.

Summary of Events so far

First of all I should tell you that I've only ever snorkelled at Mettam's Pool (park where Lynn St meets West Coast Drive, Perth, Western Australia). This seems to be a great spot to snorkel because there are no (a) waves, (b) jetskis or kite-surfers, or (c) sharks. I will share my thoughts on sharks in another post.

During my two weeks of intensive snorkelling (I now consider myself a veteran), I have seen some beautiful sights. I have hovered above a group of blowfish who were madly attacking an empty shell. I have followed two little squid as they fled from me in terror. I have seen two trout playing chasie around the rocks.

Allow me to give you a very brief summary of the wildlife in this pool, and what you can expect to see if you visit yourself:

- At least three of these "Angel fish" things live in the area (see picture at top of post). I have seen one which is smaller than the others -- presumably it is an offspring. This means that these fish are breeding. I like these fish, because they are non-threatening to look at, and they tend to swim away from you in fear.

- Two squid. I've only seen them once, so maybe they were lost and stumbled into Mettam's Pool by accident. I enjoyed watching the way they moved, pulsing smoothly through the water. I realise squid of the "giant" variety have been sinking trade ships for centuries, but these small ones seemed harmless. I have included a picture of the larger type of squid - this monster has obviously managed to crawl onto the land, and is just about to eat this old man.

- A very attractive young lady, snorkelling in a bikini. I wouldn't have mentioned this, since they can be seen at almost any beach. But I was swimming along the bottom, working on my breath-holding skills (currently up to 15 seconds!), and she swam right over the top of me! Although this was a pleasant surprise, it also forced me to hold my breath for an extra couple of seconds (to impress her), resulting in terrible pressure inside my chest.

- A jellyfish. It was floating gently, and it was about 2 inches wide. Have you ever seen the way a jellyfish moves through the water? It is quite beautiful! Especially to see it up close and personal. However, as a veteran of the ocean, I wasn't fooled. One brush with the tentacles of this beast, and I would have been in intensive care. I kept my distance. Remember, if you spot a jellyfish in the ocean, don't tempt fate -- do what I do, and swim madly away, splashing as much as you can to alert other swimmers to the danger.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to posting again shortly. There is all sorts going on under the sea, and I would like to be your guide as together, we explore!

Introduction

I just tried Snorkelling for the first time about 2 weeks ago. I have been almost every day since. This blog will be a rip-roaring account of the wild and often-dangerous adventures which I have been having beneath the sea!

Although many people consider snorkelling to be a relaxing, sedate pastime, the truth is slightly different -- it is long periods of relaxed observing, yes, but punctuated by moments of sheer terror when your survival instinct kicks into high gear and you find yourself struggling against strange and lethal enemies.

Anything from a rogue wave which fills your snorkel with water, to a jellyfish pulsing gently towards you with it's highly-venomous stingers -- the ocean doesn't want you there. You don't belong there. And it will make your life difficult every chance it gets.

However, please don't let these reports put you off visiting the ocean. There is much fun to be had with a mask pressing against your face, and the sun steadily burning your back, as you peer into the strange world below the waves ...