I've started doing this most of the time now. I couldn't just sit back, in the queue, while other bikes filtered past me. Sick of it.
One of the first things I noticed was, after splitting, I feel obligated to speed. If I split to the front, and then accelerate to sit on the speed limit, the cars I split past are going to be overtaking me. That's just silly. So I feel like I have to do 5 to 10 k's over the limit.
The other thing is aggressive bogans. I'm dreading the day that I push up in front of the lead car, which is being driven by "Haydenn" and his girlfriend "Shyanne". He's had a shitty day putting up scaffolding, he can't find any weed to buy for tonight, he's got little "Brayden" and "Jai" arguing in the back of the car, he's all out of VB, and now this clown on the motorcycle is pushing in front of him! YEAH NAH, MATE!! GET F*&%ED MATE!! And before I know it, he's floored it, and his SS Commodore (which he's struggling to pay off) is going to sideswipe me on his way past!
My bike isn't fast enough to beat an aggressive driver.
What happened to the good old 90's, when a bogan would be stuck driving a rusted-out Corolla or his mates shit-box van? Now they're getting paid crazy money, and they're rolling around in $60,000 "performance utes". Don't even get me started on the utes. Why do they pay more, for a car that seats less people, and a tray in the back that they're never going to fill with tools? With the $3,000 metallic paint job, they're never going to drive it onto the building site. "But it looks fully sick parked outside the Wanneroo pub, mate. And wait until I get that finance approved for the 20 inch chrome wheels!" For crying out loud, finish paying off your swimming pool, or actually invest some of your inappropriately high wages. Put something away for your kids education. You know damn well you're going to sell this ute in 2 years, take a massive loss, and then buy a jetski anyway.
And the suits at Holden start thinking, "Hey, let's take this already-impractical vehicle, which is rear-wheel drive yet has about 5% of it's weight on the back wheels, and fit a high-powered V8. People will buy that." Crazy. Even more crazy is that people bought them. By the thousands.
Wow I got off topic here.
-Gray
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
[Bike] Sunday cruise, nod's ahoy!
Hit my standard route, Swan Valley for a cuppa with my good friend in the "Cottage Tea House" or something. When I say "good friend", I mean "casual acquaintance". But the tea is damn good ... Damn, damn good.
Today I got lots of nods back from other riders. I passed the PSB guys doing their Country Ride and got a few nods there. And some old lady on a massive scooter, in Yanchep - I nodded and she just looked so happy, she nodded back like 3 times with a beaming smile. God bless her! At her age, she probably doesn't have too long left before a fatal crash. At least I brought some sunshine into her final days ...
Then along the highways to Gosnells to visit my sister. Having a garage sale. Brilliant. Little Gosnells "boganites" running around with rat's tails and no shoes. Not buying anything of course. Just infesting the place with their stench.
Then back north, and west to the coast. Hit Hillarys to grab another burger at my favourite, "Australia's Finest Burgers". Unfortunately, every table was full, probably due to my recent 5 out of 5 review of this place. So I just urinated and left. In the carpark were lots of Harley Davidsons. I revved my Honda 250 as I pulled out. I don't think they even heard me ...
Then hit the Mindarie for a spot of lunch with the D-Man (The Boat, reviewed last post).
Then up along Marmion to Yanchep. Nice little beach cafe. I parked next to 3 other 250's but couldn't find the rider's. I had a Choc-Honeycomb Supershake which is the best type of flavoured milk around. I can usually inhale these things in about 4 swallows. Brilliant. If you haven't tried it, I recommend it.
Then back along Wanneroo Road to home. Good little run, nice weather, 200km's of pleasure. Just wish I had a faster bike now.
Today I got lots of nods back from other riders. I passed the PSB guys doing their Country Ride and got a few nods there. And some old lady on a massive scooter, in Yanchep - I nodded and she just looked so happy, she nodded back like 3 times with a beaming smile. God bless her! At her age, she probably doesn't have too long left before a fatal crash. At least I brought some sunshine into her final days ...
Then along the highways to Gosnells to visit my sister. Having a garage sale. Brilliant. Little Gosnells "boganites" running around with rat's tails and no shoes. Not buying anything of course. Just infesting the place with their stench.
Then back north, and west to the coast. Hit Hillarys to grab another burger at my favourite, "Australia's Finest Burgers". Unfortunately, every table was full, probably due to my recent 5 out of 5 review of this place. So I just urinated and left. In the carpark were lots of Harley Davidsons. I revved my Honda 250 as I pulled out. I don't think they even heard me ...
Then hit the Mindarie for a spot of lunch with the D-Man (The Boat, reviewed last post).
Then up along Marmion to Yanchep. Nice little beach cafe. I parked next to 3 other 250's but couldn't find the rider's. I had a Choc-Honeycomb Supershake which is the best type of flavoured milk around. I can usually inhale these things in about 4 swallows. Brilliant. If you haven't tried it, I recommend it.
Then back along Wanneroo Road to home. Good little run, nice weather, 200km's of pleasure. Just wish I had a faster bike now.
30 second Restaurant Review - The Boat, Mindarie
(This review is my own personal opinion, based on my own personal experience, personally. Which may not be the same as your own experience.)
This place didn't score too well as a pub, so let's see how the dining experience goes ...
Ambiance - Yeah it's OK I guess. Not a fan of multiple projection screens showing AFL and other sporting nonsense. Leave that crap in the bogan's living rooms! Otherwise fine. +1 point.
Staff - Hmmm, staff are friendly, female and attractive, so I'm going to give a point here. But maybe consider opening up more than 1 till because lining up for 9 minutes isn't a lot of fun. +1 point.
Service - You have to line up (for 9 minutes don't forget) at the single till, right across the doorway so there are constantly people pushing to get through the line. Brilliant design there. Then you get a thing that beeps when your food is ready. Oh, so I should come back up to the counter and collect my own food, should I? Haven't you heard of waitresses? I understand this is normal for a pub, but as my good friend "J-Dog" says, "If you're going to charge me restaurant prices, I expect restaurant service." -1 point.
Prices - Not the best to be honest. Could be a little cheaper. I won't deduct a point, though.0 points.
Food - I had a burger. The pattie was far too thick, over cooked, rubbery and tasteless. It had some kind of god-awful "onion sauce" on it. Why? It's illogical. If you're going to put onions on a burger, just put onions on it. Don't mess around making some kind of stupid chutney-looking paste. Otherwise it was OK. The bun was nice. The chips were nice. I'm still not giving a point though. I can't get past that onion chutney shit ... 0 points.
Final Score - 1 out of 5.
THE BOAT, MINDARIE - BOYCOTTED
Oh dear :-(
This place didn't score too well as a pub, so let's see how the dining experience goes ...
Ambiance - Yeah it's OK I guess. Not a fan of multiple projection screens showing AFL and other sporting nonsense. Leave that crap in the bogan's living rooms! Otherwise fine. +1 point.
Staff - Hmmm, staff are friendly, female and attractive, so I'm going to give a point here. But maybe consider opening up more than 1 till because lining up for 9 minutes isn't a lot of fun. +1 point.
Service - You have to line up (for 9 minutes don't forget) at the single till, right across the doorway so there are constantly people pushing to get through the line. Brilliant design there. Then you get a thing that beeps when your food is ready. Oh, so I should come back up to the counter and collect my own food, should I? Haven't you heard of waitresses? I understand this is normal for a pub, but as my good friend "J-Dog" says, "If you're going to charge me restaurant prices, I expect restaurant service." -1 point.
Prices - Not the best to be honest. Could be a little cheaper. I won't deduct a point, though.0 points.
Food - I had a burger. The pattie was far too thick, over cooked, rubbery and tasteless. It had some kind of god-awful "onion sauce" on it. Why? It's illogical. If you're going to put onions on a burger, just put onions on it. Don't mess around making some kind of stupid chutney-looking paste. Otherwise it was OK. The bun was nice. The chips were nice. I'm still not giving a point though. I can't get past that onion chutney shit ... 0 points.
Final Score - 1 out of 5.
THE BOAT, MINDARIE - BOYCOTTED
Oh dear :-(
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
30 second Restaurant Review - Australia's Finest Burgers, Hillarys
I've been here 4 times now, so I feel authorised to pass judgement on them.
Ambiance - Inside is nice and clean looking. Not quite "posh", but definitely nice. I've always sat outside over the water. You can see boats and shit. It's pretty nice. +1 point.
Service - Pretty decent. Friendly, young, up-beat staff. Your food comes out after about 7 minutes. You can set your watch by it. +1 point.
Food & Drink - Pretty damn good. You can pay $6 for a limp, greasy "burger" at a fast food place. Or you can come here. Sure you pay a little more, but it's well worth it. Home made patties, home made tomato sauce stuff, home made salad. Brilliant. Taste is fantastic. +1 point.
Value - Only $13.95 for a cheeseburger, which has crisp, fresh lettuce and sharp, tangy red onion. Delicious!. It's pretty big, you don't need to order chips or anything with it. But if you do, they're only $5 for a large bowl, absolutely delicious and come with aioli or another dip of your choice. You really can't go wrong. Especially since you can drop $30 per head at some other restaurants, just for the main meal (Hog's Breath, anybody?). Beers are average at about $8 each. But no Emu Bitter here -- it's all Little Creatures and some other gourmet brands. Fantastic. +1 point.
I can't think of a 5th category, so I'll just give another +1 point for being awesome.
Final Score - 5 out of 5
AUSTRALIA'S FINEST BURGERS - APPROVED
I recommend this place!
Ambiance - Inside is nice and clean looking. Not quite "posh", but definitely nice. I've always sat outside over the water. You can see boats and shit. It's pretty nice. +1 point.
Service - Pretty decent. Friendly, young, up-beat staff. Your food comes out after about 7 minutes. You can set your watch by it. +1 point.
Food & Drink - Pretty damn good. You can pay $6 for a limp, greasy "burger" at a fast food place. Or you can come here. Sure you pay a little more, but it's well worth it. Home made patties, home made tomato sauce stuff, home made salad. Brilliant. Taste is fantastic. +1 point.
Value - Only $13.95 for a cheeseburger, which has crisp, fresh lettuce and sharp, tangy red onion. Delicious!. It's pretty big, you don't need to order chips or anything with it. But if you do, they're only $5 for a large bowl, absolutely delicious and come with aioli or another dip of your choice. You really can't go wrong. Especially since you can drop $30 per head at some other restaurants, just for the main meal (Hog's Breath, anybody?). Beers are average at about $8 each. But no Emu Bitter here -- it's all Little Creatures and some other gourmet brands. Fantastic. +1 point.
I can't think of a 5th category, so I'll just give another +1 point for being awesome.
Final Score - 5 out of 5
AUSTRALIA'S FINEST BURGERS - APPROVED
I recommend this place!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
30 second Cafe Review - San Churros, HIllarys Boat Harbour
I know this is a bit too long, but I'm livid. I have to vent my feelings before this insane 5-hour sugar rush wears off. Skip to the end if you just want the score ...
OK let me just say that this place is fairly popular. Plenty of people must like it. But since this blog belongs to me and not those other morons, let me be brutally honest. This place should be closed down by the government. I assume the government regulates how much caffeine Red Bull can put in their cans. So why doesn't Julia Gillard step in here, and control the amount of melted chocolate that these people are serving as "drinks"?
Remember in Rush Hour, when Chris Tucker buys a box of fried Eel from the noodle stand? (Or was it Camel's Hump? ...) He says to the guy, "Damn Chen! That's some greasy shit! ... How you gonna sell a big box of grease??!" Well, San Churro, I say to you - How you gonna sell a big cup of sugar?
I've been to San Churros once before, and I could barely finish it. I literally had hallucinations on the drive home (I'm not joking). But some people at work (including DJ Langy! *shakes fist in anger*) swore that I would love the "hot and cold"! I did ... Until I got about half way through. It's a hot chocolate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. The first part is nice enough. Then you get near the bottom of the mug, and you discover about 2 inches of pure, undiluted, syrupy, melted chocolate. I tried to get through it all. I took small sips. I stopped to breathe heavily for a while. I took another sip. My right eyelid spasmed involuntarily. I knew this was doing some serious damage to my body.
Look, I'll smoke cigarettes, ride a motorcycle in the wet, and even use the Transperth Rail network if I have to. But this stuff is really dangerous.
Also I was told to try some "Churros" which is Spanish for "donut". I don't know why they don't just call it a "donut". We're not in Spain.
These things are long, thin donuts. It was so dense with sugar and fat, I nearly gagged. As Kraemer said once, "It's all surface area! There is nowhere for the taste to hide!" So that was another epic fail.
I rode through the pouring rain, to spend about $15 on this poisonous stuff that I couldn't even finish.
Ambiance - Lot's of wood. It's nice. But then, charging $6.50 for a cup of melted chocolate, of course they can afford to spruce the place up a little. +1 point.
Prices - Sweet Moses, people will pay anything. I believe they could charge $19 for a drink, and some people would pay it. A fool and his money are easily parted. -1 point.
Staff - Pretty cool. Cheerful and helpful. I like that. I especially liked the foreign-looking guy with the afro. He was really cool. I'm giving an extra point here, just for that afro (and the hottie I saw in the kitchen). +2 points.
Location - Lovely spot at Hillarys boat habour. +1 point.
Drinks - Awful. Simply terrible. I honestly don't know how people can drink melted chocolate. "MELTED CHOCOLATE IN A MUG" IS NOT A DRINK! A milkshake is a drink. A coke. A coffee or tea. Christ almighty. -2 points.
Final Score - 1 out of 5
SAN CHURRO AT HILLARYS - BOYCOTTED
OK let me just say that this place is fairly popular. Plenty of people must like it. But since this blog belongs to me and not those other morons, let me be brutally honest. This place should be closed down by the government. I assume the government regulates how much caffeine Red Bull can put in their cans. So why doesn't Julia Gillard step in here, and control the amount of melted chocolate that these people are serving as "drinks"?
Remember in Rush Hour, when Chris Tucker buys a box of fried Eel from the noodle stand? (Or was it Camel's Hump? ...) He says to the guy, "Damn Chen! That's some greasy shit! ... How you gonna sell a big box of grease??!" Well, San Churro, I say to you - How you gonna sell a big cup of sugar?
I've been to San Churros once before, and I could barely finish it. I literally had hallucinations on the drive home (I'm not joking). But some people at work (including DJ Langy! *shakes fist in anger*) swore that I would love the "hot and cold"! I did ... Until I got about half way through. It's a hot chocolate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. The first part is nice enough. Then you get near the bottom of the mug, and you discover about 2 inches of pure, undiluted, syrupy, melted chocolate. I tried to get through it all. I took small sips. I stopped to breathe heavily for a while. I took another sip. My right eyelid spasmed involuntarily. I knew this was doing some serious damage to my body.
Look, I'll smoke cigarettes, ride a motorcycle in the wet, and even use the Transperth Rail network if I have to. But this stuff is really dangerous.
Also I was told to try some "Churros" which is Spanish for "donut". I don't know why they don't just call it a "donut". We're not in Spain.
These things are long, thin donuts. It was so dense with sugar and fat, I nearly gagged. As Kraemer said once, "It's all surface area! There is nowhere for the taste to hide!" So that was another epic fail.
I rode through the pouring rain, to spend about $15 on this poisonous stuff that I couldn't even finish.
Ambiance - Lot's of wood. It's nice. But then, charging $6.50 for a cup of melted chocolate, of course they can afford to spruce the place up a little. +1 point.
Prices - Sweet Moses, people will pay anything. I believe they could charge $19 for a drink, and some people would pay it. A fool and his money are easily parted. -1 point.
Staff - Pretty cool. Cheerful and helpful. I like that. I especially liked the foreign-looking guy with the afro. He was really cool. I'm giving an extra point here, just for that afro (and the hottie I saw in the kitchen). +2 points.
Location - Lovely spot at Hillarys boat habour. +1 point.
Drinks - Awful. Simply terrible. I honestly don't know how people can drink melted chocolate. "MELTED CHOCOLATE IN A MUG" IS NOT A DRINK! A milkshake is a drink. A coke. A coffee or tea. Christ almighty. -2 points.
Final Score - 1 out of 5
SAN CHURRO AT HILLARYS - BOYCOTTED
[Bike] Kings Park & Wet Riding
Yesterday, at the suggestion of my good friend "DJ Langy", I hit up King's Park. Lovely afternoon, lovely park, lovely ride. A lovely 40kph limit within the park let's me cruise in a relaxed, lovely fashion -- just the way I like it. This is important for my bike, because it let's me cruise along with the revs at 4 thousand. Below 5 thousand, it almost sounds like a normal bike, which I enjoy. Above 5 thousand, it turns into a whipper-snipper, which I don't enjoy so much.
Enjoyed a nice 'chicken and rocket' sandwich which cost over $7.
Today, his suggestion was to enjoy a "hot and cold" at the San Churros at Hillarys. I'll make a separate post about this place in a minute. But what was interesting was riding to and from there, in the pouring rain. Bear in mind I don't have wet-weather gear yet, so my jeans were soaked through, sneakers all squishy with water, and my gloves were wringing wet.
Rain takes a lot of the fun out of riding. You get cold. Sitting at the lights is annoying since you're steadily getting wetter and colder. And then cruising at 80kph is annoying since the wind feels pretty "arctic" against your wet clothes. You have to watch the road like a hawk, and adjust your position to dodge pools of water, slippery bits of tarmac, and painted arrows and such which basically become like patches of ice. Road paint has no traction when wet. I've known 90 year old ladies with arthritis that had more grip than those arrows.
When stopped, my visor fogs up even on a clear day. In the rain, it's pretty much like a blindfold. So I have to flip it up a bit to clear it. Then the rain hits my glasses, and that's worse.
Bah. Maybe after I buy a better visor and some waterproof gear, it'll be more bearable.
-Gray
Enjoyed a nice 'chicken and rocket' sandwich which cost over $7.
Today, his suggestion was to enjoy a "hot and cold" at the San Churros at Hillarys. I'll make a separate post about this place in a minute. But what was interesting was riding to and from there, in the pouring rain. Bear in mind I don't have wet-weather gear yet, so my jeans were soaked through, sneakers all squishy with water, and my gloves were wringing wet.
Rain takes a lot of the fun out of riding. You get cold. Sitting at the lights is annoying since you're steadily getting wetter and colder. And then cruising at 80kph is annoying since the wind feels pretty "arctic" against your wet clothes. You have to watch the road like a hawk, and adjust your position to dodge pools of water, slippery bits of tarmac, and painted arrows and such which basically become like patches of ice. Road paint has no traction when wet. I've known 90 year old ladies with arthritis that had more grip than those arrows.
When stopped, my visor fogs up even on a clear day. In the rain, it's pretty much like a blindfold. So I have to flip it up a bit to clear it. Then the rain hits my glasses, and that's worse.
Bah. Maybe after I buy a better visor and some waterproof gear, it'll be more bearable.
-Gray
Sunday, May 15, 2011
[Bike] Sunday cruise, nod trouble
Nice little ride through the Swan Valley this morning. Cup of tea at a little cottage place. I was going to stop at the Chocolate Factory but it's always busy.
I gave 9 nods out to passing riders today, and only got 2 nods in return. Ridiculous. I even got snubbed by a SCOOTER rider! I mean, we're not even supposed to nod at these kids! I went out of my way to extend some courtesy to a stranger on a lower-class vehicle by nodding my head slightly, and he can't even be bothered to do the same.
Anyway, then I hit Scarborough to enjoy the slow windy road and all the ladies jogging along the path. Fantastic as always. I even got a smile from a lovely brunette as I purred past, one hand resting on the tank, squinting my eyes into the sun sexily. I was almost tempted to point my finger at her like the Fonz as I cruised past. She was loving it! When the G-Force takes hold of you, well ... I can be quite irresistible.
Then Hillarys for a burger at Australia's Finest Burgers. Delicious! Will probably do something similar every Sunday from now on. I must say, there is something to be said for riding alone. You can stop wherever you want, leave when you want, and ride at the speed you want.
Oh and also, this morning, I washed the bike after spilling the fuel over it yesterday. Then I started my trip by filling up, and yet again spilled fuel all over the front of the bike. I nearly cried. Rode straight back home again, washed again, and back on the road. The great thing about having a ride on a Sunday is, you've got all day. No rush, no reason to get home, no particular route to follow. Just the wind in your hair, power at your fingertips, and smooth roads ahead! (The helmet stops the wind, my bike has no power, and the roads are generally quite uneven and rough).
Keep cruisin'!
-Gray
I gave 9 nods out to passing riders today, and only got 2 nods in return. Ridiculous. I even got snubbed by a SCOOTER rider! I mean, we're not even supposed to nod at these kids! I went out of my way to extend some courtesy to a stranger on a lower-class vehicle by nodding my head slightly, and he can't even be bothered to do the same.
Anyway, then I hit Scarborough to enjoy the slow windy road and all the ladies jogging along the path. Fantastic as always. I even got a smile from a lovely brunette as I purred past, one hand resting on the tank, squinting my eyes into the sun sexily. I was almost tempted to point my finger at her like the Fonz as I cruised past. She was loving it! When the G-Force takes hold of you, well ... I can be quite irresistible.
Then Hillarys for a burger at Australia's Finest Burgers. Delicious! Will probably do something similar every Sunday from now on. I must say, there is something to be said for riding alone. You can stop wherever you want, leave when you want, and ride at the speed you want.
Oh and also, this morning, I washed the bike after spilling the fuel over it yesterday. Then I started my trip by filling up, and yet again spilled fuel all over the front of the bike. I nearly cried. Rode straight back home again, washed again, and back on the road. The great thing about having a ride on a Sunday is, you've got all day. No rush, no reason to get home, no particular route to follow. Just the wind in your hair, power at your fingertips, and smooth roads ahead! (The helmet stops the wind, my bike has no power, and the roads are generally quite uneven and rough).
Keep cruisin'!
-Gray
Saturday, May 14, 2011
12 hours, 452 km, 2 cramped fingers
Went down to Donnybrook and back to visit my kids on the bike today. Probably won't do that too often (I'll use a car). Left at 7am, started getting pretty cold, especially when the wind picked up down past Bunbury. The last 30 minutes I was shivering.
It didn't start off too well. I stopped in Joondalup to fill the tank, and as I lowered the nozzle it ejected about a litre of fuel all over the top and front of the tank. Argh! I freaked out. After I filled the tank, I grabbed the watering can of water that they provide, and poured it over. It hissed and steamed as it ran through the engine. Oops. Luckily nobody was around.
Saw several cars full of youngsters heading for this so-called "Groove in the Move" thing. I believe it's a music concert. It was a bit of a double-edged sword -- on the one hand, there were P-plated Commodores full of young men that wanted to do 130kph. On the other hand, there were P-plated Daewoos full of cute young girls that wanted to do 130kph. So you have to take the bitter with the sweet.
Obviously, it's a bit of a strain keeping the little leaf-blower engine opened up, maintaining 110kph when all the bike want's to do is SLOW DOWN. A slight bend? Wind in more throttle. A minor slope? More throttle. Every single tiny gust of wind? You guessed it. Crank it up further.
Fortunately I made several stops so it was OK.
The way back felt better, I guess I was more used to it. Back didn't hurt much at all. But now my two index fingers are kind of cramped up. Also just after the sun went down, I literally started getting bombarded with little bugs on my faceplate. Annoying.
Highlights of the trip:
Had a little chat to some young fella at Settler's Cafe, as he was riding too. Nice chap. Now, I normally avoid Settler's because it's a little dirty for my liking. In Summer, there are more flies inside than outside. I guess they are "house flies", probably born in the filthy kitchen, and live out their entire lives inside the Cafe. No need to ever leave. Anyway, they've improved it quite a bit, including the toilets, so it's not a bad little place to stop now.
Also some toddler in the back of a BMW waved at me as he passed. I gave him an over-enthusiastic, geeky wave back, and of course had to correct my steering straight away. He nearly killed me, God bless the little tyke ...
Now I'm just looking forward to a good night's sleep, and some lower-speed riding tomorrow (Sunday). It's such a pleasure to cruise around at 60 or 80, everything is relaxed, no wind, the engine ticking over nicely, and plenty of torque when I need it. This 80kph+ stuff is a pain in the ass on my bike. Should have saved up for a Ninja. Never mind.
Final tripometer reading is 452km
-Gray
It didn't start off too well. I stopped in Joondalup to fill the tank, and as I lowered the nozzle it ejected about a litre of fuel all over the top and front of the tank. Argh! I freaked out. After I filled the tank, I grabbed the watering can of water that they provide, and poured it over. It hissed and steamed as it ran through the engine. Oops. Luckily nobody was around.
Saw several cars full of youngsters heading for this so-called "Groove in the Move" thing. I believe it's a music concert. It was a bit of a double-edged sword -- on the one hand, there were P-plated Commodores full of young men that wanted to do 130kph. On the other hand, there were P-plated Daewoos full of cute young girls that wanted to do 130kph. So you have to take the bitter with the sweet.
Obviously, it's a bit of a strain keeping the little leaf-blower engine opened up, maintaining 110kph when all the bike want's to do is SLOW DOWN. A slight bend? Wind in more throttle. A minor slope? More throttle. Every single tiny gust of wind? You guessed it. Crank it up further.
Fortunately I made several stops so it was OK.
The way back felt better, I guess I was more used to it. Back didn't hurt much at all. But now my two index fingers are kind of cramped up. Also just after the sun went down, I literally started getting bombarded with little bugs on my faceplate. Annoying.
Highlights of the trip:
Had a little chat to some young fella at Settler's Cafe, as he was riding too. Nice chap. Now, I normally avoid Settler's because it's a little dirty for my liking. In Summer, there are more flies inside than outside. I guess they are "house flies", probably born in the filthy kitchen, and live out their entire lives inside the Cafe. No need to ever leave. Anyway, they've improved it quite a bit, including the toilets, so it's not a bad little place to stop now.
Also some toddler in the back of a BMW waved at me as he passed. I gave him an over-enthusiastic, geeky wave back, and of course had to correct my steering straight away. He nearly killed me, God bless the little tyke ...
Now I'm just looking forward to a good night's sleep, and some lower-speed riding tomorrow (Sunday). It's such a pleasure to cruise around at 60 or 80, everything is relaxed, no wind, the engine ticking over nicely, and plenty of torque when I need it. This 80kph+ stuff is a pain in the ass on my bike. Should have saved up for a Ninja. Never mind.
Final tripometer reading is 452km
-Gray
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
[Bike] Got license, rode.
Not the most light-hearted post. If you have no interest in bikes, you probably won't get anything out of reading this ...
Passed my test today. To be honest it wasn't all that difficult. I was nervous as hell but there's nothing you can do about that. I rode down to the local park and practiced some U-turns. I put my foot down about 5 times. This completely shattered my confidence. Ergo, don't practice before your test. Just assume that you can do everything perfectly. It's the safe play.
My examiner was a serious type that my instructor had warned me about. He wears a moustache. That was a very bad sign. Fortunately, he was English, so I added just a touch of "cockney" into my accent. This put me in his good books immediately -- English people love their fellow countrymen. Try a similar tack for your own test. For example, if your instructor is Asian, casually mention that your 2nd-cousin on your Great Grandmother's side, is Chinese. It can't hurt.
Provided you've practiced the 4 areas until you're comfortable, you'll be fine. The areas are:
1 - General riding. For this, you need to spend time on the road. I did it by joining PSB rides (see here) mainly. The things to watch out for are lane positioning, holding a line through corners (if you're swinging wide from the left side to the right side of the lane, you're doing it wrong), head checks at every intersection (get's very tedious but, it keeps you alert I suppose) and riding confidently in traffic. Don't thrash it, but don't baby it either. If you're taking forever to get up to speed, it tells the examiner that you're not confident. The "illusion of confidence" is the secret to passing your test. Since you're obviously not confident, we're going to have to fake it.
Be on the lookout for squirrels. These nasty little critters will run right out in front of you. It's illegal to take emergency action to avoid wildlife, if that action directly endangers other road users or pedestrians. My interpretation of that law is literally, "Speed up and run over any squirrels on the road". Don't argue with the law. Just do it.
2 - U-turns. Get your instructor to help you with this one. Then just practice on your own in an empty car park. Do loads of them, until you've got it perfect. The key is using clutch control, so get your revs up reasonably high, rest your foot on the back brake, and then just alter the clutch by tiny amounts to adjust your balance. You will probably never have to do a U-turn on your bike in the real world, but whatever. I don't make the tests. I just tell you how to pass them ... Jesus.
Don't get discouraged if you have to put your foot down. That's not a fall. It's just putting your foot down. As you get better, you won't do this any more.
Also, if you ride a Hyosung GT250R, you should immediately sell your bike and buy something more suitable for the test. You can't do U-turns on the GT250R. It should be stated in the bike's manual.
3 - Emergency stops. I don't know if anybody else has trouble with these, but for me they were the easiest thing. When the instructor raises his hand, come off the throttle and pull progressively on the front brake for about half a second, then when the weight has transferred onto the front tire, you can pull HARD. I mean, HARD. I like to pull hard about 5 times a week ... No wait. Forget that ...
I practiced about 15 emergency stops before my test, and never managed to lock the front wheel once. I did lock the back once, so just rest your foot on the back pedal without pressing. The back tire has no weight on it, so it will lock up and slide with very little pressure. It will slide quicker than a greased-up fat man on a water-slide. Locking a tire looks awesome, feels cool, and sounds fantastic. But for some reason, the examiner will count it as a "fail" if either tire locks up. Strange but true.
4 - Looking cool and sexy. This part can be tricky. If you're already a cool person, you will automatically be cooler on a bike by a factor of 3. Done and done. Feel free to skip this section.
If you're not so cool to begin with, you're going to have to fake it. I recommend getting a helmet with a cool design. If you can't afford a Shoei, get a cheap one with a similar design on it. Learn to pop your bike into neutral at the lights, lean back, rest your hands on the petrol tank, and look around confidently. Be sure to make eye contact with every driver around you. Make sure they realise that you're going to be taking off faster than them, and that's not negotiable. Probably don't do this in your test, however (keep both hands on the controls at all times, even if you're waiting at the lights of Grand Boulevard and Boas Avenue, which literally take like 3.5 minutes ... Just don't release the controls).
Since you're going to be on a 250, here is another trick. If an SS Commodore or anything faster looks like he's going to race you, just bend to the side and pretend to investigate your bike. Peer down at the engine-type bits (that's the metal bits under the petrol tank). Rev it a bit. Look down again. Shake your head. Then when the lights go green, you're struggling with your bike which is 'acting up'. The race is cancelled and you didn't lose any pride! Brilliant.
When riding with the examiner behind you, or just a friend, make sure you stick your leg out to the side when you want to change lane positions. This ups your "cool factor" by several points, and also makes it look like you're "in the know" with motorcycles. Point down towards puddles, debris or other hazards. Although the person following you will have absolutely no time to react to your warning anyway, it creates the illusion that you're confident and in control. This type of behavior can only help you, and probably accounted for me passing my test.
Make sure you give a little nod to bikes passing in the opposite direction. My current total is 9 nods given, 0 nods received in return. I think the fact that I'm not on a sports bike is the reason. Bastards. I don't want their stinking nods, anyway. And remember, never nod at scooter riders! They are a lower lifeform, beneath us, and shouldn't be acknowledged in any way.
----------
Anyway, after I passed the test I went for a ride. I hit Gosnells. That was a mistake for obvious reasons. Then peak-hour on the freeway for the return trip. After 15 minutes of stop-start while other bikes lane-split right past me, I got off the freeway and finally started enjoying myself. A nice trip up the coast, with a stop at Hungry Jacks, and Mullalloo Beach for a quick smoke. Beautiful riding. Anything above 80 kph is unpleasant on my bike, but on the slower roads I really enjoy myself.
So I am now free to go on any rides with PSB or alone, that I feel like. I will give some nice ride reports in the coming weeks. I may even be attempting the Perth-Donnybrook-Perth round trip on Saturday. This trip is over 500kms, most of the way on 110kph roads. Now, at those speeds, my bike squirms around like a pogo-stick in a bath of jelly, so it could be an exhausting trip. I predict a constant stream of cars and utes trying to pass me for the 3 hours each way. I'll report back if I do it.
-Gray
Watch out for those squirrels!
Passed my test today. To be honest it wasn't all that difficult. I was nervous as hell but there's nothing you can do about that. I rode down to the local park and practiced some U-turns. I put my foot down about 5 times. This completely shattered my confidence. Ergo, don't practice before your test. Just assume that you can do everything perfectly. It's the safe play.
My examiner was a serious type that my instructor had warned me about. He wears a moustache. That was a very bad sign. Fortunately, he was English, so I added just a touch of "cockney" into my accent. This put me in his good books immediately -- English people love their fellow countrymen. Try a similar tack for your own test. For example, if your instructor is Asian, casually mention that your 2nd-cousin on your Great Grandmother's side, is Chinese. It can't hurt.
Provided you've practiced the 4 areas until you're comfortable, you'll be fine. The areas are:
1 - General riding. For this, you need to spend time on the road. I did it by joining PSB rides (see here) mainly. The things to watch out for are lane positioning, holding a line through corners (if you're swinging wide from the left side to the right side of the lane, you're doing it wrong), head checks at every intersection (get's very tedious but, it keeps you alert I suppose) and riding confidently in traffic. Don't thrash it, but don't baby it either. If you're taking forever to get up to speed, it tells the examiner that you're not confident. The "illusion of confidence" is the secret to passing your test. Since you're obviously not confident, we're going to have to fake it.
Be on the lookout for squirrels. These nasty little critters will run right out in front of you. It's illegal to take emergency action to avoid wildlife, if that action directly endangers other road users or pedestrians. My interpretation of that law is literally, "Speed up and run over any squirrels on the road". Don't argue with the law. Just do it.
2 - U-turns. Get your instructor to help you with this one. Then just practice on your own in an empty car park. Do loads of them, until you've got it perfect. The key is using clutch control, so get your revs up reasonably high, rest your foot on the back brake, and then just alter the clutch by tiny amounts to adjust your balance. You will probably never have to do a U-turn on your bike in the real world, but whatever. I don't make the tests. I just tell you how to pass them ... Jesus.
Don't get discouraged if you have to put your foot down. That's not a fall. It's just putting your foot down. As you get better, you won't do this any more.
Also, if you ride a Hyosung GT250R, you should immediately sell your bike and buy something more suitable for the test. You can't do U-turns on the GT250R. It should be stated in the bike's manual.
3 - Emergency stops. I don't know if anybody else has trouble with these, but for me they were the easiest thing. When the instructor raises his hand, come off the throttle and pull progressively on the front brake for about half a second, then when the weight has transferred onto the front tire, you can pull HARD. I mean, HARD. I like to pull hard about 5 times a week ... No wait. Forget that ...
I practiced about 15 emergency stops before my test, and never managed to lock the front wheel once. I did lock the back once, so just rest your foot on the back pedal without pressing. The back tire has no weight on it, so it will lock up and slide with very little pressure. It will slide quicker than a greased-up fat man on a water-slide. Locking a tire looks awesome, feels cool, and sounds fantastic. But for some reason, the examiner will count it as a "fail" if either tire locks up. Strange but true.
4 - Looking cool and sexy. This part can be tricky. If you're already a cool person, you will automatically be cooler on a bike by a factor of 3. Done and done. Feel free to skip this section.
If you're not so cool to begin with, you're going to have to fake it. I recommend getting a helmet with a cool design. If you can't afford a Shoei, get a cheap one with a similar design on it. Learn to pop your bike into neutral at the lights, lean back, rest your hands on the petrol tank, and look around confidently. Be sure to make eye contact with every driver around you. Make sure they realise that you're going to be taking off faster than them, and that's not negotiable. Probably don't do this in your test, however (keep both hands on the controls at all times, even if you're waiting at the lights of Grand Boulevard and Boas Avenue, which literally take like 3.5 minutes ... Just don't release the controls).
Since you're going to be on a 250, here is another trick. If an SS Commodore or anything faster looks like he's going to race you, just bend to the side and pretend to investigate your bike. Peer down at the engine-type bits (that's the metal bits under the petrol tank). Rev it a bit. Look down again. Shake your head. Then when the lights go green, you're struggling with your bike which is 'acting up'. The race is cancelled and you didn't lose any pride! Brilliant.
When riding with the examiner behind you, or just a friend, make sure you stick your leg out to the side when you want to change lane positions. This ups your "cool factor" by several points, and also makes it look like you're "in the know" with motorcycles. Point down towards puddles, debris or other hazards. Although the person following you will have absolutely no time to react to your warning anyway, it creates the illusion that you're confident and in control. This type of behavior can only help you, and probably accounted for me passing my test.
Make sure you give a little nod to bikes passing in the opposite direction. My current total is 9 nods given, 0 nods received in return. I think the fact that I'm not on a sports bike is the reason. Bastards. I don't want their stinking nods, anyway. And remember, never nod at scooter riders! They are a lower lifeform, beneath us, and shouldn't be acknowledged in any way.
----------
Anyway, after I passed the test I went for a ride. I hit Gosnells. That was a mistake for obvious reasons. Then peak-hour on the freeway for the return trip. After 15 minutes of stop-start while other bikes lane-split right past me, I got off the freeway and finally started enjoying myself. A nice trip up the coast, with a stop at Hungry Jacks, and Mullalloo Beach for a quick smoke. Beautiful riding. Anything above 80 kph is unpleasant on my bike, but on the slower roads I really enjoy myself.
So I am now free to go on any rides with PSB or alone, that I feel like. I will give some nice ride reports in the coming weeks. I may even be attempting the Perth-Donnybrook-Perth round trip on Saturday. This trip is over 500kms, most of the way on 110kph roads. Now, at those speeds, my bike squirms around like a pogo-stick in a bath of jelly, so it could be an exhausting trip. I predict a constant stream of cars and utes trying to pass me for the 3 hours each way. I'll report back if I do it.
-Gray
Watch out for those squirrels!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
[Bike] Final lesson
Just had my final lesson before the test on Wednesday. Pretty much nailed it. I don't want to float my own boat, blow up my own balloon, blow my own trumpet or yank my own chain -- but I'm pretty confident that the tester is going to watch me ride for 4 minutes, pull me over, and award me an Advanced Riding Permit.
Partly due to the generous folks over at the Perth Street Bikes forum who have allowed me to get 10+ hours of riding experience (legally). But mostly due to my extreme levels of natural skill with vehicles of any type. (Oh and also due to the fact that we inflated my tyres and found they were at 24 PSI, instead of 33 .... That might have sharpened the bike up a little bit .... Whatever).
So, is it really worth spending $1000 on gear, spending 5 minutes gearing up while the bike warms up, literally dripping with sweat at the traffic lights even on a pleasant 25 degree day, and being vulnerable to all manner of horrific injuries? Yes. There are also many benefits to riding a bike, such as:
1 - Sex appeal. Just carry your helmet into a bar, and watch the ladies come flocking like seagulls after some discarded chips (does not apply to me, obviously. It will take a lot more than a helmet to make me attractive).
2 - Speed. Blasting down the straights, leaning into the corners .... Sheer fun. (does not apply to me, since my bike struggles to beat a Hyundai Getz off the line).
3 - No traffic jams. Split between the cars and make your way to the front of every red light. BAM! Time saved. In slow-moving rush-hour traffic? Split your way past all the suckers and save yourself some serious time! (does not apply to me, I'm not confident enough to split moving traffic, and don't have the power to pull away at the front of the lights anyway).
4 - Never have to give lifts to your friends. You have a valid reason not to have to be the DD at your next pub outing! (does not apply to me, since I basically have no friends anyway).
5 - Fuel. A 250 bike will probably do about 4 litres per 100 KMs. So you're literally going to spend half on petrol than, say, a Commodore driver. Filling up with Premium for a total of $21 is awesome. (does not apply to me, since my Barina was nearly as cheap, and I don't ride often enough to make any real savings).
6 - Meet new people. Biking as a hobby will let you meet loads of people with the same interests. All sorts of people ride a bike, young and old, rich and poor, and it's a great way to socialise! (does not apply to me, because I'm too shy to chat to everybody and who wants to talk to the guy in the corner with the CBF250?)
As you can see, there really is no good reason for you to not sell your car immediately and switch to a bike. I'll see you out there!
-Gray
Partly due to the generous folks over at the Perth Street Bikes forum who have allowed me to get 10+ hours of riding experience (legally). But mostly due to my extreme levels of natural skill with vehicles of any type. (Oh and also due to the fact that we inflated my tyres and found they were at 24 PSI, instead of 33 .... That might have sharpened the bike up a little bit .... Whatever).
So, is it really worth spending $1000 on gear, spending 5 minutes gearing up while the bike warms up, literally dripping with sweat at the traffic lights even on a pleasant 25 degree day, and being vulnerable to all manner of horrific injuries? Yes. There are also many benefits to riding a bike, such as:
1 - Sex appeal. Just carry your helmet into a bar, and watch the ladies come flocking like seagulls after some discarded chips (does not apply to me, obviously. It will take a lot more than a helmet to make me attractive).
2 - Speed. Blasting down the straights, leaning into the corners .... Sheer fun. (does not apply to me, since my bike struggles to beat a Hyundai Getz off the line).
3 - No traffic jams. Split between the cars and make your way to the front of every red light. BAM! Time saved. In slow-moving rush-hour traffic? Split your way past all the suckers and save yourself some serious time! (does not apply to me, I'm not confident enough to split moving traffic, and don't have the power to pull away at the front of the lights anyway).
4 - Never have to give lifts to your friends. You have a valid reason not to have to be the DD at your next pub outing! (does not apply to me, since I basically have no friends anyway).
5 - Fuel. A 250 bike will probably do about 4 litres per 100 KMs. So you're literally going to spend half on petrol than, say, a Commodore driver. Filling up with Premium for a total of $21 is awesome. (does not apply to me, since my Barina was nearly as cheap, and I don't ride often enough to make any real savings).
6 - Meet new people. Biking as a hobby will let you meet loads of people with the same interests. All sorts of people ride a bike, young and old, rich and poor, and it's a great way to socialise! (does not apply to me, because I'm too shy to chat to everybody and who wants to talk to the guy in the corner with the CBF250?)
As you can see, there really is no good reason for you to not sell your car immediately and switch to a bike. I'll see you out there!
-Gray
30 second Bar Review - The Boat, Mindarie
Quite a popular little spot. Not with me.
Ambiance - nice lighting and furnishings. Fairly clean throughout. Attractive bar staff is a bonus. +1 point.
Pricing - Hmmm, over $9 for a pint of Heineken? Very suspect. I don't appreciate being ripped off. -1 point.
Patronage - Usual mix of 19-year olds trying to look cool, 50-year olds trying to look cool, and 30-year olds getting aboslutely smashed, jumping up and down screaming, and vomiting in the toilets (all witnessed in my 45 mins there). Can't complain. Not as rough as many places. Attractive bar staff is a bonus. +1 point.
Location - On the water, boats floating around, all that good stuff. Good amount of parking. +1 point.
Music - Hmm. It was live, and it was loud. I guess I'll award 1 point just for having live music. But it wasn't my cup of tea. How about some jazz, or light piano music? +1 point.
Aquariums - Too small for the fish contained. It's simply animal cruelty. And the live music? The fish must go insane having those vibrations pushed through their water. I'm in half a mind to ring the RSPCA about this. -2 points!
Final score - 1 out of 5
If they just got rid of the aquariums, and dropped their huge markup on the beer, they would score much better!
THE BOAT IN MINDARIE - BOYCOTTED
Ambiance - nice lighting and furnishings. Fairly clean throughout. Attractive bar staff is a bonus. +1 point.
Pricing - Hmmm, over $9 for a pint of Heineken? Very suspect. I don't appreciate being ripped off. -1 point.
Patronage - Usual mix of 19-year olds trying to look cool, 50-year olds trying to look cool, and 30-year olds getting aboslutely smashed, jumping up and down screaming, and vomiting in the toilets (all witnessed in my 45 mins there). Can't complain. Not as rough as many places. Attractive bar staff is a bonus. +1 point.
Location - On the water, boats floating around, all that good stuff. Good amount of parking. +1 point.
Music - Hmm. It was live, and it was loud. I guess I'll award 1 point just for having live music. But it wasn't my cup of tea. How about some jazz, or light piano music? +1 point.
Aquariums - Too small for the fish contained. It's simply animal cruelty. And the live music? The fish must go insane having those vibrations pushed through their water. I'm in half a mind to ring the RSPCA about this. -2 points!
Final score - 1 out of 5
If they just got rid of the aquariums, and dropped their huge markup on the beer, they would score much better!
THE BOAT IN MINDARIE - BOYCOTTED
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