Well I haven't played iPhone games for a few weeks really. I had a spare 11 minutes tonight, so I thought I'd jump back into Order & Chaos and kill a squirrel.
Driving back from Donnybrook last week, a squirrel wandered straight across the road. My reflexes were dulled by 4 hours behind the wheel and the soothing voice of Karl Pilkington. So I reacted by swerving into the oncoming traffic lane. Could have been fatal. Time for some revenge ...
The best place to look for a squirrel is in the forest, so off I went. After a while, I stopped to munch on some stale bread:
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| Who laid these paths? Seriously. Think about it. Who? |
I was dispatching Bandits as quickly as a fat kid devours a Twix bar, but my true target remained hidden. People don't realise how cunning the squirrel can be. It's a natural survivor. Squirrels have remained, virtually unchanged, since the time of the dinosaurs. It is commonly believed that they evolved from birds, when in fact they are a completely unique species, correctly named the verticalis nuttomi draconis, literally "climbing nut-eating dragon".
Although prized for it's meat in the South American continent, it generally proves very difficult to catch. That's why I was so surprised when this obviously retarded squirrel bounded over the nearest hill:
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| Retarded or not, it's a dangerous animal. The yellow stripes warn away potential predators. |
Despite it's mental retardation, I jumped straight into battle with the nasty beast, and my level 10 Mage spells proved very helpful:
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| You got pwned little bitch!! Killed it so fast, it was dead before I managed to screenshot the battle. |
The creature was slain in a massive ball of fire and death, and soon I stood proudly over my conquest:
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| The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel. The woods are a safer place now. |
Another fruitful expedition in the world of Order & Chaos.
-Gray
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