[iPhone] Review - Pinball HD

[This is an opinion piece on "Pinball HD" by Gameprom. The official website is here.]

Let me just say I've never actually played real pinball. Never interested me before, but I will now jump on the next machine I see -- Pinball HD is awesome!

It's pretty much a real pinball table created inside the iPhone, rather than a pinball game created for the iPhone. The difference is, everything exists in 3D and the camera smoothly zooms, swoops and pans to keep the action on the screen. The ball behaves with completely realistic physics. If the table has a spinny-whirly thing, it doesn't just use the graphics of a spinny-whirly thing -- it actually spins a 3D plate within the table, which sends the ball flying. As far as I can tell anyway. Even the sounds are realistic. Even the little dot-matrix scoreboard animations at the top of the screen are realistic.

For $0.99, you get 3 complete tables. Wild West is the most simple. You can tag targets to get the Bank open, then send the ball up that ramp to bounce around the bumpers, robbing the bank and collecting loads of points. You can hit the tricky entrance to the "gold mine", you'll blast along the rail-cart track and end up with loads of points. You can tag other targets, then hit a hole and you get to "Shoot Dirty Harry" -- if you aim the ball just right, you can hit him and get loads of points. He is actually a little figurine that moves out and along a track. Just like a real pinball table -- the illusion never gets broken.

Ah, wooden surface and cheesy cowboy music! I love this table.

The Deep is my favourite table. You have the gentle ambient soundtrack, the dark-blue colouring, and sweeping ramps, voices that talk to you when you get missions, or hit certain goals. A circle in the middle of the table lights up to track your progress as you complete the "missions", which involve just getting the ball to a certain target or ramp on the table. It's awesome.

Again, this is juts the top-third of the table or so.

 Then there is Jungle which I haven't learnt yet. It almost looks too chaotic, but still seems to be awesome. Wish I took a full-table screenshot for you.

This is only a small part of the table. It's zoomed in, man!

You can force a static complete-table view just by swiping outwards, and re-enable the dynamic camera at any time. You can tilt to landscape and it will seamlessly shift your perspective to a low-down, full-table view, if you prefer. It's all very smooth and polished.

I think the enjoyment of pinball comes from the heavily-themed table with sounds and music, the "pachinko" or luck factor of the ball bouncing around the bumpers, and the skill of completing tasks. Yes it's obviously a skill-based game, since my high scores have been increasing massively as I play more. And it's completely non-violent! Brilliant change of pace.

Finally, I have to mention the scoreboards -- you get local scores, and Game Center worldwide scores. Keeps you motivated to shoot for the top 10! Also, this game has loads of achievements which discreetly slide in from the side when you get them. They are interesting too, like "Pillage $X from the Indian village" and "Hunt and kill 10 sharks" and stuff.

Pinball HD - 5 out of 5
Brilliant!

Increase your power levels, then blast down the ramp and smash open the treasure chest!

-Gray

[iPhone] Review - Galaxy on Fire 2 (part 1)

I've only played this for just over 1 hour, so I'll post Part 2 of this review in a week or two. It's too big a game to judge after 1 hour. That certainly won't stop me judging it, however.

I spent a few months playing X3: Reunion by Egosoft, back in the day. I liked Elite and the Wing Commander games. And I messed about with Eve Online, although I didn't have a good enough computer to enjoy it. So I thought I'd check out Galaxy on Fire 2 .... After all, it only costs $10.50 (?!).

Cruising the galaxy like a true pimp.

The basic idea is, you fly around space, docking at various Stations to trade goods, pick up freelance missions, upgrade your ship, buy a new ship, and continue along the Story Missions. You get to fight other ships (a lot), and probably do some other crap which I haven't reached yet.

Graphics - Brilliant, can't fault the look of this game. Here is another screenshot:

"I wonder if this station has a McDonalds?"

Sound - Nice space-type music. Combat sounds are OK, but a bit repetitive. Interestingly, the voice acting is of a very good quality, which really makes the game feel polished. You've heard me whinge about bad voice acting in a previous post. No problem in this game though.

I did a fly-by on this massive Cruiser, while it headed for the jumpgate. I'm just cool like that.

Gameplay - Well you get everything that it promises on the tin. You can fly around just trading if you want, building up your money for a bigger or better ship (or even your own station to store them in, I read somewhere).

Or you can stick to the story missions. The story is pretty standard fare, nothing too exciting.

Or you can do freelance missions for fun and cash.

Or you can be a pirate. Maybe. I've never tried this, but there are other computer-controlled ships flying around the place, so I don't see why you couldn't blast them and steal their cargo.

Sorry I didn't get a screenshot of combat. I forgot.

The loading screens lasts literally 1 second on the iPhone 4, so that's very impressive. Nothing more annoying than a game that makes you wait for loading screens. And I haven't had a single crash, stall, jerk or jitter since I started playing. It also supports that "iOS multitask" thing, so when you jump back into it, you'll be at exactly the same screen you left at. Awesome.

"Hello why you shoot me?? NO BANG BANG!!"

Value - Hard to say a game is good value when it costs this much. Then again, there is plenty of content in here. There is already 1 expansion pack released. I think it costs another $6. Bit steep frankly.

But if this is the kind of game you like -- you honestly won't find a better "space combat/trading" game for your iPhone than Galaxy on Fire 2. I assume. I've only tried 2 other games like this. But they were both absolute shit. So it's a safe bet that GoF2 is the best of the bunch by a long shot.

Galaxy on Fire 2 - 5 out of 5
Not to everybody's tastes, but you can't fault this game if you're a fan of the genre. It includes everything you would expect, plus more, and it's very polished.

Spaceship parking $5,000 per hour. Offenders will be towed.

- Gray

[iPhone] Review - Rat on a Scooter

[This is an opinion piece on "Rat on a Scooter" by Donut Games. The official website is here.]

If for some reason you've never played this game, I'm surprised. It's fairly popular. Donut Games have a few dozen games out on the App store. I've bought 12 of them so far, but there is only really 2 that I play -- Traffic Rush, and Rat on a Scooter.

Simple, bold, colourful and easy to operate. Just the way I like my girlfriends.

This game is the perfect pick-up-and-play arcade title. You can play it with just your left thumb. It's perfect for playing in short bursts since most games are over in one or two minutes. I used to regularly play this while on my smoke breaks. I no longer smoke, but it's still a fun game.

Touch the screen to make your little rat jump. How long you press determines how high you'll jump. You can add a little "double jump" when you need it, by touching again. That's all there is to it. When you fall and touch the bottom of the screen, it will pop up "Try Again" or "Main Menu". Is way too easy to hit "Try Again".

"Ya! Gimme dat cheesey!" (my rat talks in an Italian accent)

There are 3 other modes, but they're mostly forgettable. In one you collect fuel, in another special icons which make the platforms bigger or give you a jetpack, and another where you have to avoid traffic cones. Bah!

Just stick with the main mode and you'll be loving it. You can also follow your score and achievements over Game Center.

Oh sick front-wheel grind, boyeee! <snaps fingers like Ali G>

It's the first game I've reviewed which I've actually spent serious time with. I installed it like 6 months ago at least, and it's still fun in short bursts. Here's my stat screen from my iPod touch:

Rat on a Scooter - 5 out of 5
Just buy it!
 
-Gray 

[iPhone] Review - Dungeon Hunter 2

[This is an opinion piece on "Dungeon Hunter 2", by Gameloft. The official website is here.]

I vaguely remember the first Dungeon Hunter. I really enjoyed it for a few play sessions, then it got insanely boring and I never touched it again.

So let's give the sequel a chance.

Ah, the classic "Choose a Class" screen. That old chestnut. Never gets old, does it?

Gameplay - Well, it's more of the same. But with better graphics and more wide-open and detailed environments.

If you've played "Diablo" on PC you'll know what to expect here. Of course, in Diablo you actually had to move your mouse pointer over the enemy you want to hit, before clicking. In Dungeon Hunter 2, you just click the attack button. Or hold it down until everything on the screen has been terminated. Then you walk a bit further on, find a new batch of enemies, and sit still again while auto-attack takes them out.

Poor Trungus, living in a swamp, an outcast ... and now a strange Wizard wanders along and blows him up.

It's actually not quite as boring as I just made it sound. There are plenty of flashy visuals to keep you entertained. All the levels and areas I've been in so far look incredible and quite varied. Monsters (somewhat inexplicably) drop all sorts of items, which you can auto-equip, or auto-transmute which means you automatically cash them in for gold as soon as you collect them. But you can set it to hang on to the really good shit.

You will gain levels pretty much every 5 to 10 minutes, so this kind of strings you along. You're always trying to get a few more points into one of your stats, so that you can equip that awesome piece of gear. Unfortunately, no sooner have you grown strong enough to equip it than you'll find something even better that you want to use. It never ends. It's been the staple drawcard of "action RPGs" since the original Diablo, and it works just as well here. Ahh, many evenings has my little fish been fed late, because I just wanted to clear out this final level of the area I was on.

But anyway, essentially, all you're doing is holding your thumb down on the attack button. And clicking on the occasional spell button to mix things up a bit. Meh.

Worship that "Auto-Equip" button. Caress it, make sweet love to it ... It simplifies everything.

Graphics - Like I said, awesome.

Sound - Hmm it's OK. Music is pretty generic fantasy RPG-type stuff. Sound effects are decent.

CSI: Dungeon Hunter ... "I guess they...<removes sunglasses> ...made it to the barbeque." <music starts>

Value - Pretty good. I look at it this way -- let's say you spend $1.19 on this game. Maybe you play it in short bursts, two or three times per week. After a few weeks, you've probably spent 3 or 4 hours on the game. That works out to about 29 cents per hour. Outside of Bangkok, where else are you going to get entertained for that kind of money?

Dungeon Hunter 2 - 4 out of 5
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Barely engages your brain, but it's not supposed to.

Yay I'm a SHADOWMANCER! It sounds a bit gay, but it's not ... No, really.

-Gray

[iPhone] Review - Dead Space

 [This is an opinion piece on "Dead Space" by Electronic Arts. The official website is here.]

I used to have Dead Space on the Xbox360. I wasn't really impressed to be honest. I barely put 2 or 3 hours into it altogether. Complete waste of money ...

So when I saw the chance to give EA Games even more of my money by purchasing the same game in a watered-down version for the tiny iPhone screen -- I jumped at it.

Dead Space by Electronic Arts

But seriously I only bought this because it's on sale for $1.19 right now. I've spent about 30 minutes playing, so I feel more than qualified to give a thorough and accurate appraisal of it.

Dead Space is a survival-horror game. The ambiance is pretty much "Event Horizon" meets "Aliens" meets the Space Hulk universe. You walk around a lot, and get to blast the limbs off insectoid monsters which come crawling from everywhere, trying to slice open your face.

Graphics - Brilliant. The screen shots on this page have lost a lot of detail during e-mailing, rotation, convert to .jpg and then resize into the blog -- an original 1.2mb screenshot becomes 50kb for the blog. That means what you're seeing is 4% of what it actually looks like. So times these pictures by a factor of 25.

A light source behind a roof fan? Seriously. That only happens in video games.

You get the point. Sharp graphics, smooth FPS, and quick load times all contribute to the moody atmosphere, which is helped a lot by the ...

Sound - I'm a big fan of sound in games. It can really make or break the atmospheric atmosphere of the environmental environment. In Dead Space's case, atmospherically and environmentally, they got it right. The monsters sound nasty, the ominous music sets the mood, and the startling string noises that play when a monster scampers across the corridor in front of you can really make you jump. But none of that matters, unless the game has good ...

Gameplay - Hmm. The problem (for me) with the original Dead Space on Xbox is that the main character has no agility. You feel like you're walking in mud or something. More realistic? Maybe. But not more fun.

They haven't fixed it here. It's an over-the-shoulder view which kind of sucks, since almost half of the screen is blocked by your character's back. Do you really want to stare at his back for the entire game? No.

A lot of the detail lost, but it's very atmospheric when you're actually playing.

Apart from that it's OK I guess. You can aim pretty easily, and cut off the monster's legs, arms, or head. Blast a leg and they'll still crawl towards you. When they get close you can swipe downwards to stomp them into a pulp. A couple of other gestures are used when you get grabbed by a critter.

I didn't manage to take screenshots of the battles, because I was too busy shitting myself and trying not to get eaten.


It's got plenty of gore too:

"Cleanup in aisle 12! Janitor to aisle 12, please ..."

Oh also your character has some extra tricks, like a "stasis thingy" which slows down moving machinery, and a "kinetic whats-it" which let's you throw around boxes. And probably monsters. Like I said, I'm about 5% through the game so I'm not sure about everything yet.

Value - For $1.19 I'm not upset. If I paid $8 I wouldn't be thrilled. Especially when I noticed this:

Increase your fun! Just send us more money!

This is absolute bollocks. You pay for a game, and then you find another 100 ways to spend more money on it by upgrading your character, buying new weapons, etc. I know it's only single-player so there is no disadvantage to not buying the upgrades ... But it's still cheeky to even ask players to spend more. It's not like you're buying more levels or gameplay ... All they seem to be selling are "cheats" to make the game easier. What kind of moron would actually buy these things, I can only imagine ...

Anyway, it's not really my type of game to be honest, but to be fair -- it looks nice, sounds nice, smooth controls, hasn't crashed, everything loads super fast on my iPhone 4, and has good production values (as far as quality of sound, music, graphics, pacing, etc.). I even noticed a few options in the main menu for playing a specific level, and a button called "5 minutes to kill" which I guess lets you blast the monsters and aim for a high score, or something.

Dead Space - 4 out of 5 (If you enjoy over-the-shoulder shooters, treat this as a 5 out of 5 score)
Solid.

-Gray

[iPhone] Let's Play Order & Chaos - episode 4

Episode 4 - Silence, Sewing and Spells

Today I decided to complete one of my quests which called for me trekking along a path, around the lake, and to the next town. This town is called "Silence".

So off I toddled, slaying crocodiles and giant spiders along the way. Every now and again I found a heap of material with gems sticking out. After picking away with my pick-axe, I found that these contained "bronze material". Strange.

Near the town of Silence, I came across a huge wooden bridge with a colossal waterfall to one side. This screenshot doesn't really do it justice:

Standing on a bridge looking up at the waterfall. I should have looked down instead.

Eventually I reached the town of "Silence". Pretty ironic name considering that this town is twice the size of "Fallen Leaf" where I started, and is bustling with NPCs:

"Silence" - it's anything but. The racket was deafening, frankly.

Honestly, I couldn't get a minutes peace. Apart from all the NPCs standing around with strange icons glowing over their heads, there were several real people running around, seemingly at random. Probably looking for the public toilets.

After stumbling between NPCs like a drunk toddler, I managed to find one who taught me the rare skills of "Tailoring". I could also have chosen to learn "Leather working" or "Metal working", but what self-respecting Mage wants to learn them?

Unfortunately, after some more research, I learned that constructing even a simple pair of boots is going to cost more silver (and time) than the boots will be worth. So I think I'll leave Crafting for a while yet.

Then I stumbled across the local Pub. I stepped inside. At first I thought, "Hmm this seems familiar". But I quickly realised that this place was an exact replica of the Pub in Fallen Leaf village. I mean, everything was identical. Even the local Sheriff was standing in the same spot, smashed out of his tree of course. Everybody had different names, but apart from that it was identical....

I said "Riiiiiight ....." and slowly backed out of the door.

Finally, I came across the local temple, inside which I picked up a couple more quests, and found somebody willing to sell me some new spells. So I bought Frost Bolt, and upgraded my existing spells. She didn't seem to be selling the "Make a Woman's Clothes Vanish" spell, but I'll keep searching.

I've been specialising in the "ice" type of spells rather than the "fire" type. My thinking is, there is already plenty of fireballs being chucked around -- it'd be "cool" to use ice magic. Plus, it gives me the opportunity to throw around some Mr. Freeze-style puns (YouTube - Mr. Freeze's Puns) -- "You are not sending me to the cooler!" Brilliant!

The Great Holy Temple of Holy Greatness.

By the way I'm now level 8 and I upgrading my old dagger for a nice, shiny staff.

-Gray

[iPhone] Let's Play Order & Chaos - episode 3

Episode 3 - Crocs, bears, and leather vests

Today I spent some of my hard-earned copper coins, and bought myself a new leather vest. Here is a shot of Varkiann modelling it in front of the "Fallen Leaf Water-wheel":

Winter fashion 2011 Catalogue. "Woodsman's Leather Vest", available in stores now.

After prancing about in my new clothing for a while, I decided to explore further to the west of town. I ventured over a sturdy wooden bridge, and through a large portcullis cut into a massive stone wall.

In the woods beyond, I battled giant green spiders, who resisted my fireballs, and spat a toxic venom at me! As I hacked and blasted my way through their ranks, I happened to notice a nearby fisherman leaning against a tree. Since this was strange, I walked over and talked to him. He wanted me to slay some "giant crocodiles" at the nearby lake. Of course. Makes perfect sense.

I made short work of the scaly bastards, too:

This critter will make a lovely pair of boots, to go along with my new vest!

I'm guessing this fantasy world doesn't have the equivalent of the R.S.P.C.A.. Since arriving, I've done nothing but slay innocent wild animals. Nobody bats an eyelid.

Returning to the fisherman for my reward, I notice he has a friend with him. A "bear hunter". Let me guess ... Yes, he wants me to kill a giant bear for him. A professional bear hunter, who presumably does this for a living, is asking a strange Mage to kill a bear for him.  Ok why not -- I've taken my dagger to every other animal in this damn forest ...

I find the big bear hiding next to a lovely waterfall. He's actually much bigger than I thought. As he charges at me with a bellow, I suddenly wish I'd made friends with a warrior type ... Time seems to slow down as he approaches. Then I realise it's just a lag spike. With the illogical sound of clashing blades, we meet in mortal combat! There can be only one!

This is just silly. What has this thing been eating?!?

I could smell the fetid breath of the great animal, as it swiped at me in disjointed and repetitive animations. It's arms seemed to be made up of about 3 polygons each, but those 3 packed a real wallop! 

Fortunately, our hero Varkiann isn't about to be destroyed by a honey-eating, tree-scratching bear -- no matter how big it is. With some deft spell work, including my newly-acquired "Frost Blast", I bring the beast crashing to the ground at my feet. ROAR! Epic battle, epic skills, epic victory:

This is what happens when you put wildlife within reach of me ...

With this job done, I head back in to town to finish up the night's session. I clear out my inventory by selling everything to the local weapons merchant, who inexplicably wants to buy my "spider poison" and "crocodile scales".

While I exit to the main menu, I wonder idly why it's always day time in here. It's exhausting. Is it really that hard to add a day/night cycle to a game? And why is my character wearing a skirt? I never noticed that before ...

-Gray

[iPhone] Let's Play Order & Chaos - episode 2

Episode 2 - Bandits, lag, and a sexy bard

Today I popped up in the Goblin camp. So, I slaughtered a few more of the little bastards. Eventually I hit level 5. Soon I will start getting some new skills and spells. Hopefully one of those spells is called "Make a Woman's Clothes Vanish", which would have been useful in the Tavern, as you'll read later ...

After a while, I explored the countryside a little more, and found a ruined keep. Some ugly, filthy, stinking bandits had taken up residence in here. Nothing a few Fireball spells can't fix, though.

If these wandering rogues think they can sit peacefully in an abandoned keep, chatting and passing the time with idle conversation, they've got another thing coming! Enter Varkiann, the wandering Mage of Pain, Death and Unwarranted Chastising! 

About to open a can of whoop-ass on some rogues.

After a while I found the boss of the bandits -- I approached him, ready for battle .... But nothing happened. Why did he and his cronies not attack? Are they scared of me? Has the reputation of Varkiann the Level 5 Mage reached them, and they're playing possum, hoping I'll leave?! ...

I realised the "ping indicator" was red ... Nothing happened for another 10 seconds. Finally the game caught up with the server, and instantly I was dead! Killed by lag!! Egads!

I woke up in the local graveyard:

Dazed and confused ... How did I get here?

I wandered back towards the local Tavern. Some random guy kept inviting me to join his group. I kept rejecting him. Varkiann the Mage works alone ... You don't play with the V-Dog, the V-Dog plays with you ... Varkiann can win a staring contest, with his eyes closed ... If you have $5 and Varkiann has $5, then Varkiann has more than you ... Ok now I'm just find-and-replace'ing Chuck Norris jokes.

The Drunk Sheriff was back to his usual tricks ... Namely, being drunk in the Tavern. He offered me a great reward if I would kill some more goblins for him! What treasures awaited me? ... A pair of old boots. I sighed, went and killed the goblins, and returned for my boots. Brilliant.

Then the Sheriff sent me off to find Vincent the scout, who would help me find and kill "Field" the Chief of the goblins. Finally, we're getting something useful done! I found Vincent and he sent me back to the Tavern, to talk to Anioah the Bard. She was standing about 5 paces from the Sheriff. Hmmmm, slightly annoying.

Luckily, she turned out to be smoking hot. I tried flirting with her, but due to her being an NPC, she wasn't too responsive. I said to her, "Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend ..."

She remained stony-faced and silent.

Of course, when I say smoking hot, I mean as hot as 9 polygons can ever be made to look:

"People call me Varkiann, but you can call me tonight <wink wink>"

With a blank expression (due to her facial texture not being animated), she told me how to find Field, lord of the Goblins -- so tomorrow, I will hunt this evil creature and bring an end to his reign of terror!!

Stay tuned ...

-Gray

[iPhone] Let's Play Order & Chaos - episode 1

Thought I would do a little "Let's Play" on Order & Chaos. Playing on iPhone 4.

Episode 1 -  Time to stomp me some Goblins!

1 min - Tried to create a new account. Seems I have already registered my e-mail with Gameloft. What's my password? Who knows.

3 mins - Retrieve password via e-mail. Finally! Let's go find some Goblins to kill!! Ohhh, the title screen is pretty ... I guess this was about 3 weeks of development time just to get this screen looking so awesome.

Awesome title screen is awesome.

You can see a human, then a sexy sexy little Elf, then an Undead, and finally an Orc. These are the 4 races available to play in the game.

So far so good ... Let's create a new character.

6 mins - Character creation is done and I'm dropped into the game. I've made an Elf Mage. He's tall. I'm not sure why he's so tall. I guess I'm going to have to stoop down low, to kill those Goblins ...

Meet "Varkiann". Purple skin, blue hair and glowing eyes. This game is redefining "awesome" already ...

12 mins - After some chatting and tutorial stuff, I kill my first mob -- a "prairie wolf". It's not a Goblin. After gaining a couple of levels, I head back into the village of "Green Leaf". Time to find me those Goblins! ROAR!

Barbara the Barkeep. Word is that she's "free and easy" with passing travellers.

I head into the local watering hole, loosen my robes, and order a pitcher of the cheapest Ale in the house. Then I chat to the locals.

Nobody in the bar seems to mention anything about Goblins. There is some drunk Sheriff trying to make me go out and kill more wolves ... and some random guy called "Ninjajah" or something, who is running around in circles. He's either drunk, or looking for Goblins himself.

Eventually, I discover some farmer lady who needs me to kill some ... wolves. Oh really? Again? *sigh* Ok whatever. I'm not sure why the Town Guard can't do this ...

30 mins - Out in a different field, throwing fireballs at "timber wolves". Hmmm. They're still wolves, though.

34 mins - Left the town to explore a bit. Found a little caravan village with a horse! Yay. I stopped to say hello to the horse. It was only a Level 1 Horse, so I'm pretty sure I could have taken it down. If I had to ... I'm just saying. It was shifty.

Practicing my stealth by hiding behind the horse. You can't see me, but I'm behind his neck.

37 mins - What's that little figure on the hillside? Could it be .... YES! It's a Goblin! I power up my magical shield spell, and charge with a roar into the battle of my lifetime! It's time to slaughter this little rodent and punish his entire race for all of their evil deeds against Elves! Or just for being different ... Whatever, you really don't need an excuse to attack a Goblin, let's face it. They are the Used Car Salesmen of the fantasy world.

Victory! I pummel the evil Goblin into a fine pulp!

Disappointingly, it didn't put up much of a fight.

Tune in tomorrow, when I will try to engage some other players in conversation, and maybe form a "team" or group to explore with. I expect all sorts of problems to be honest ...

[iPhone] Review - Pocket Legends MMORPG

(Stay tuned for my review of "Order & Chaos" which I'm trying to resist buying ... It's $9 damnit.)

I never played WoW, but I was pretty big on Everquest back in the day, and then EverQuest 2 for a while. So about a year ago, I spent 3 months playing Pocket Legends on my iPod. I thought I'd revisit this game since the iPhone 4 runs everything so silky-smooth. It's pretty cool to be honest. After nearly a year, my character's were still patiently waiting for me to come back online!

You can spin and zoom your viewpoint any time.

I was pleased to learn that SpaceTime Studios have been steadily adding features, areas and items to the game. It's now quite large and very polished, with nearly 200 quests.

Anyway the basic idea is you select one of 3 races (Bear which is basically a Warrior, Avian which is an Archer, or Elf which is a Mage) and build them up through questing and killing monsters. You can build your stats any way you like, and it actually provides variety and distinction between characters. There are always loads of other people running around -- in fact, towns are "instanced" when they reach the max of 20 players, and you'll always find loads of people around to chat to. You have a friends list and can invite friends to join your instance of a dungeon, or just join another random player's game. Fighting alone is tricky so you generally fight in groups of 5.

Plenty of places to fight. Each location shown here generally has more than 5 actual dungeons within it.

The World - You can pick where you want to go straight from the World Map shown above, or you can manually walk around the world which is quite interesting. Locations are connected by portals or short pathways, so you never have to cross the wilderness or anything. Everywhere looks nice, from the dark green forests to the icy caves; from the stone dungeons to the blazing deserts.

Graphics - Pretty impressive, although I must admit the new game "Order & Chaos" (which is a fully 3D World of Warcraft clone). But Pocket Legends looks cool enough. You have lots of flashes, crackles, swooshes and such with all the spells and abilities people set off during combat. Towns are nicely detailed, although small. Characters look different depending on what gear they have equipped, so you won't see loads of the same character walking around.

My level 33 Warrior, chilling in a town with his music headphones on ;-)

Sound - Good sound. Nice quality of music and "ambient" sounds throughout the various locations.

Gameplay - Well as you reach the higher 30+ levels, it starts to slow down a lot and you'll find that you have to run through a complete set of dungeons several times to gain levels. At least I do. So it starts to grind. But remember I put a good 3 months or so into this game which is outstanding for an iDevice game, at least in my experience. You really get your money's worth here.

It's Auto-Attack which means once you engage with a monster, you can mentally step back and watch the fight unfold. But you'll have plenty to do engaging other spells and abilities manually. They got the balance just right. You're never bored when you're in a hostile area, and often you won't have time to chat or reply to people until you clear the area of monsters.

Items are a big part of this game, and it has a huge variety. I don't know the numbers, but certainly hundreds and hundreds of different items to find, buy, sell, auction or trade. There is in-game trading by simply touching another character on the screen. And I believe there is an Auction House now, but I haven't tried that yet.

Of course there is in-game chat, including private messaging (tells) and a full profanity filter which "mutes" people who use naughty language, and a full emote system so you can make your character burp or lol or ... whatever.

My Mage in combat. Skills down the right side, other stuff around the edges.

Value - Well it's hard to complain when the game is free! You will have to spend a few dollars along the way to unlock "map packs" which let your character grow even further. But you can download Pocket Legends for free and try it up to level 10 or so. See if you like it.

There are plenty of "hard core" players who have multiple capped characters, and who spend extra money for in-game "platinum" so that they can buy various novelty items and stat-boosting potions (but spending this money is certainly not necessary). It depends how much you want to get into it, but there is a big, active forum and a general sense of community which surprised me, given that this is a handheld game.

Go here (official web site) to learn more, or just download it on the App Store for free. It also works on Android devices now.

Pocket Legends MMO - 4 out of 5 (or 5 out of 5 if played on the iPad)
Not everybody's cup of tea, but as "an MMO on iPhone", it's very hard to fault. Slightly too much for the iPhone's small screen, but still very playable. If you have an iPad, it would be awesome.

-Gray

My Elf get's "jiggy with it" in the Graveyard. She's loving life, and loving it hard.

 

[iPhone] Review - Real Racing 2

[This is an opinion piece on "Real Racing 2" by Firemint. The official website is here.]

I spent quite a few hours with the original Real Racing, on my iPod Touch. So having a new iPhone 4, I thought I'd give this new game a try. After all, why would you want to sit comfortably on your couch, playing a racing game on your console with a 52" plasma TV and surround sound -- not when you can hunch over and peer at a 4" iPhone screen. It's common sense.

Menu screen. It's a menu screen. You pick shit from it.

Gameplay - Rock solid. You tilt to steer, and the actual image on the screen tilts against you to keep everything horizontal. It's a great system. Car handling is OK. It's not Forza 2 but it's much more realistic than any of those "Need for Speed" games that people keep buying.

Graphics - Obviously, pretty stunning. I can't really fault the graphics. The cars all look terrific, and so do the environments. The in-car view, which I always use, is pretty awesome too:

In car view is from in the car ....

Each car has it's own cockpit of course. Interestingly, I've never come across any slow-down, even at the first corner when you have 15 other cars all braking and bunching up.

Sound - Pretty solid. Many of the sounds are carried over straight from the original Real Racing, unfortunately. Could do with some meatier-sounding engines, to be honest. Music is a decent blend of rock, and dance-type stuff.

Single Player - Of course you have Quick Race, and Time Trials, but Career Mode is where you want to spend your time. You earn "rep" and money for completing races, and you'll quickly be buying new cars left and right, and upgrading them. And the upgrades actually make sense, for example "Cat-back exhaust", "Composite brake pads", etc. They vary in name and cost depending on the car you're upgrading. Better than some stupid thing like "Level 3 Engine Upgrade" from those "Need for Speed" games ... Pah, Need for Speed ... "Need for Some Realism" I'm calling them.

AI opponents are fine. They don't seem quite as aggressive as the first game.

Multiplayer - Here is where the only problems with this game come up. Multiplayer is actually fun and competitive, but the big problems are:

Skill Matching is poor. You'll often find yourself in a game with mostly slower cars like the VW Golf, and then 2 super-fast cars. Of course, they tear away from everybody else in the first few seconds, which leads to the second problem ...

People quit a lot. Like, every race has people dropping out. Probably because ...

There is no penalty for quitting as far as I can tell. At least if you lost some "rep" points, people might be less inclined to do it. Then again, there really is ...

No incentive for playing Multiplayer anyway, apart from fun. You're not earning the cash and rep that you can so easily earn in Singleplayer mode.

Maybe Firemint will address some of these things in an update.

Otherwise, this is a cool game which is easy to start playing, and get's more and more interesting as you turn off the driving aids (steering assist, braking assist, and anti-skid).

Real Racing 2 - 4 out of 5

Orange car is orange.

-Gray

[iPhone] Review - Papa Sangre

[This is an opinion piece on "Papa Sangre", by SomethinElse. The official website is here.]

Strange little game this one. You have to walk your character around in pitch darkness, using sound as your only sensory input. For the most part it works fairly well. You have to collect gently tinkling "musical notes", before locating the exit and reaching it. The main hazard are monsters which are only ever described as "hogs". You will have to let your own mind decide how they look, but they sound pretty nasty. Passing close to a sleeping hog is fairly nerve-wracking, and the first time I woke one up and I listened to it mauling me while my character screamed repeatedly, I decided that this was a pretty good game.

You tap your two thumbs to make your character walk, and pull your finger across the top half of the screen to turn around. The 3D sound is brilliant. Run too fast and you'll fall. Run into a wall and you'll be stopped dead. Since all the graphics are "rendered" inside your own head, the image quality will vary depending on your hardware. If you're running with just Intel on-board graphics (ie., you have the visualisation capacity of  a moron), you might fail to be drawn into the game at all. If you've got a Radeon HD 6990 (ie., a good brain), you'll find things very creepy indeed.

As you progress through the levels, the game introduces new challenges. These include patroling hogs, dry bones that snap when you walk over them which causes the nearest hog to charge to that location looking for you, a crying baby that you can choose to rescue, quick sand which forces you to move slowly ... I'm only about 25% into the game so far, so I expect more variety to come.

It also includes different terrain types within the same level -- for example in the marsh level, you will move through wet reeds, knee-deep water, and the soggy soil of an island in the middle. Of course you have to map all this out within your mind.

The interesting part of this game is playing it with your eyes closed, and forming a mental picture of your surroundings, based purely on the sounds entering your ears. I can't recall any other game making you do this, and I've been playing games since about 1987. So for that alone, Papa Sangre deserves some kudos.

It's not a brilliant game, but it tries something completely new, and pulls it off very well. It's immersive, fresh, interesting, engaging, and occasionally quite terrifying. I'd say most modern triple-A titles fail to tick all of those boxes. And this goes for around $6 I think.

Just make sure you play it in a dim, quiet room.

Papa Sangre - 4 out of 5

-Gray

[iPhone] Augmented Reality Apps

Looked into these apps briefly today. My theory here is that it's a lot of very impressive technology, all coming together to produce something ... not very useful.

Holding up your camera and having points of interest, ATMs, restaurants, whatever, overlaid on the image in real-time sounds like a pretty cool idea. It's just not that useful. Let's face it, you're going to feel like a right knob spinning around in the middle of the street, peering at your phone. It's nothing that a map app couldn't do faster and better.

One slightly interesting app is "AR Soccer" (YouTube vid here). It's not bad. I can't imagine playing it too often. More of a gimmick. But at least it actually provides some type of entertainment. The collision detection isn't perfect but it's quite good. I want to give AR Defender a try but I don't want to waste another $1.20 on something I'll never play again.

Also I noticed AR Girl (YouTube vid here) but if you think I'm paying good money for a non-existent dancing girl, you've got another thing coming. Especially when you can see real girls dancing in any nightclub. Now, if you could reach in with your hand and start removing her clothing and tickling her, they'd be making millions (mostly pre-teen boys would be buying it, I would think).

Guess this is just one more step on the road to holographic, heads-up overlays projected directly onto our eyeballs. Or holographic strippers taking off their clothes on our desktops at work. Either way, we're heading in the right direction.

-Gray

[iPhone] iPhone 4 purchased

Was showing the dude at work how shatter-proof my Sonim XP3 was ... and I shattered the screen.

So got myself an iPhone 4 tonight. In white for extra coolness. I asked the guy "Have you sold any white ones to guys, or only chicks?" He said "Oh no, plenty of guys have bought them."

I said, "Yes but, were they gay?" and he pauses for like 3 seconds and goes, "Not that I know of." completely straight-faced. Brilliant. But a cover will hide it anyway. I just bought one for $40. Absolute ripoff but what can you do.

Interestingly, I can open the App Store on the iPhone, and select an option to list all "Purchased Items". These are apps which I already paid for using my iPod Touch, and can now be downloaded straight onto the iPhone 4. Brilliant! Apple really is doing something right. It really is no wonder that Macs are gaining popularity around the world. (Are they actually gaining popularity? I have no idea. Somebody throw some stats at me, I'm interested.)

So, now that I can run all the games, I'll be buying and playing more. I bought a lot of games for my iPod Touch 2G. Probably spent $100 on games, not including music of course. But this iPhone runs things so much more quickly, I'm more inclined to use it.

Tonight I bought "Papa Sangre", "Infinity Blade" and "Hanging with Friends". Hanging with Friends is obviously fun. Infinity Blade I haven't run yet. I've only played Papa Sangre for 10 minutes but I was very, very impressed. This is exactly the type of game I'm attracted to. Keep your Call of Duty 6: Future Warfare: Aliens in Space Edition. I'm a fan of Minecraft, text-based MUDs, ADOM, Dwarf Fortress (although I never overcame the ridiculous learning curve), and other off-the-wall type of games.

Papa Sangre has the best graphics of any game I've ever played. By that I mean, it has no graphics. It's purely sound-based. You tap your thumbs on the screen to walk, or run, but don't run too fast or you'll stumble and fall. And as you navigate the room, you'll build a picture of what's around you based on the sounds you're hearing. There's awful, terrible monsters. Tip-toe past a sleeping "hog", and tell me you're not a little bit scared. It's over 100 MB, with no graphics, so that should give you some idea of the quality of sound in this game. It's 3D sound.

Now, don't start arguing that "How can you have 3D sound? You only have 2 ears!". You have 3D sound in the real world, yes? ... Using only 2 ears. So proper use of headphones replicates this effect. I'm also a fan of "Naturespace" which is billed as "holographic audio environments". A huge fan, actually. I might review that another day.

In fact I'll just review Papa Sangre another day, after I've spent some more time with it.

For now, just know that I'm rocking the iPhone 4, my credit card is starting to run hot on the App Store, and I'm slightly tipsy from a very strong brandy and lemonade. God bless.

-Gray

PS. Oh somebody Face Time me. That shit is all kinds of awesome. Absolutely pointless as far as I can tell, but all the best technology starts off that way. Imagine when they invented the "telephone". People would have been like, "Oh, so if you have a phone, and the other person has one, you can call them? Why not just walk around to their house? So pointless." But yeah, anyway, face time is kind of cool anyway. I like it.