I can't even review this properly. The level of awful that this so-called "movie" has reached is unbelievable. In fact, if you take out Megan Fox ... I would literally rather spend 2.5 hours weeding, than watching this again. I mean that quite literally. It's painful.
Pathetic, weak story, special effects everywhere, stupid characters with no personalities (that includes the robots too), childish jokes throughout ... I would LOVE to hear somebody say they enjoyed this movie. Just so that I can ask what they liked about it. And then tear them apart with reason and logic.
I just Googled "transformers 2 sucks" and got 1.8 million results. I'm just saying.
Transformers 2 - 0 out of 5
Definitely in my top 10 "Worst Movies I've Ever Seen" ... Hey that would be a good blog entry to do.
-Gray
Showing posts with label shit movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shit movie. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
[Movie] "Super 8" Review (SPOILERS)
Well I'm glad I only dropped $10 on this piece of rubbish. The name "Steven Spielberg" used to stand for something. It stood for quality, story, and other useful things. How he attached himself to "Super 8", I'll never know.
Take "Cloverfield" and add a pinch of "Signs", and a dash of "E.T.". That's the recipe for this movie. The strange thing is, I liked those movies, whereas "Super 8" stinks worse than my socks after riding my bike in the heat for 4 hours.
Kids discover an alien invasion, somehow survive while trained soldiers around them are brutally slain, the girl get's taken by the beast, the main character rescues her, he manages to communicate with the creature, and then everybody watches it safely return to it's home planet, while hugging, with nice music playing. Even more predictable than "Transformers".
Of course, you have to have a love interest for the main character. And she has to get saved from certain death, at the last possible second. And then hug him while emotional string music plays, even though they are literally in the den of a massive beast and would probably be blubbering and screaming, running for their lives. Pathetic. Unrealistic.
You've got your all-American main character with the boyish good looks, then you've got your slightly-goofy sidekick for comic relief. The overweight kid gets jealous over the main character's budding relationship with the girl. So that's a 30 second scene. Then they don't explore it further. In fact, character development is basically zero. The two fathers who hate each other, suddenly mend their differences and become friends during the crises. This is covered in a 30 second driving scene.
I have no idea who this movie is aimed at. It's too scary for kids, with the "sudden noise" jumps all over the place, and the nasty looking creature killing people left and right.
But no intelligent person over the age of 18 should enjoy this film. So I'm confused about who it's designed to entertain. I guess -- nobody.
Super 8 - 2 out of 5.
Avoid!
-Gray
Take "Cloverfield" and add a pinch of "Signs", and a dash of "E.T.". That's the recipe for this movie. The strange thing is, I liked those movies, whereas "Super 8" stinks worse than my socks after riding my bike in the heat for 4 hours.
Kids discover an alien invasion, somehow survive while trained soldiers around them are brutally slain, the girl get's taken by the beast, the main character rescues her, he manages to communicate with the creature, and then everybody watches it safely return to it's home planet, while hugging, with nice music playing. Even more predictable than "Transformers".
Of course, you have to have a love interest for the main character. And she has to get saved from certain death, at the last possible second. And then hug him while emotional string music plays, even though they are literally in the den of a massive beast and would probably be blubbering and screaming, running for their lives. Pathetic. Unrealistic.
You've got your all-American main character with the boyish good looks, then you've got your slightly-goofy sidekick for comic relief. The overweight kid gets jealous over the main character's budding relationship with the girl. So that's a 30 second scene. Then they don't explore it further. In fact, character development is basically zero. The two fathers who hate each other, suddenly mend their differences and become friends during the crises. This is covered in a 30 second driving scene.
I have no idea who this movie is aimed at. It's too scary for kids, with the "sudden noise" jumps all over the place, and the nasty looking creature killing people left and right.
But no intelligent person over the age of 18 should enjoy this film. So I'm confused about who it's designed to entertain. I guess -- nobody.
Super 8 - 2 out of 5.
Avoid!
-Gray
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