30 second Restaurant Review - Dome Cafe, Mindarie

Service - The girl that took my order was beautiful and smiling. I wonder if she was only smiling so much due to my attractiveness, but even so, it's nice. Unfortunately, the heavily-tattooed girl that brought our drinks out couldn't crack a smile to save her life. Miserable. Completely stoney-faced. Pathetic. Shouldn't be working as a waitress if she hates it so much. 0 points.

Pricing - A little pricey, but nothing too upsetting. +1 point.

Drinks - My coffee was a half-inch from the lip of the cup, and somewhere between "warm" and "hot". If I can take a massive gulp immediately after she sets it down, guess what, it's not hot enough. What an absolute ripoff. I'm not a barista, but I know a poor coffee when I see one. -1 point.

Food - Not too impressed. Now, I ordered the "big breakfast" with no tomato, and no mushroom. Did she ask if I wanted extra of something else instead? No. They just brought me a half-empty plate that I paid $17 for. Seriously, how hard is it to slap an extra hashbrown on the plate? The sausages weren't cooked enough. And check out the "toast" that my mate got with his "eggs on toast":

"Eggs on bread". Pathetic. Even a small child knows how to make toast.

Absolutely mental. -1 point.

Ambiance - Table full of bogans sitting right behind us, you know what I'm talking about -- talking too loudly in deep masculine voices, using expressions like "Oi" and "Mate" a lot. Yes we get it, you're the alpha-males, biggest biceps, you drive the biggest car and get the best women. Shouldn't you be at McDonalds or something? I'm trying to enjoy my breakfast here. -1 point.

Dome Cafe, Mindarie - -2 out of 5 (below 0? That's a first.)
BOYCOTTED

30 second Restaurant Review - The Boat, Mindarie

(This review is my own personal opinion, based on my own personal experience, personally. Which may not be the same as your own experience.)

This place didn't score too well as a pub, so let's see how the dining experience goes ...

Ambiance - Yeah it's OK I guess. Not a fan of multiple projection screens showing AFL and other sporting nonsense. Leave that crap in the bogan's living rooms! Otherwise fine. +1 point.

Staff - Hmmm, staff are friendly, female and attractive, so I'm going to give a point here. But maybe consider opening up more than 1 till because lining up for 9 minutes isn't a lot of fun. +1 point.

Service - You have to line up (for 9 minutes don't forget) at the single till, right across the doorway so there are constantly people pushing to get through the line. Brilliant design there. Then you get a thing that beeps when your food is ready. Oh, so I should come back up to the counter and collect my own food, should I? Haven't you heard of waitresses? I understand this is normal for a pub, but as my good friend "J-Dog" says, "If you're going to charge me restaurant prices, I expect restaurant service."  -1 point.

Prices - Not the best to be honest. Could be a little cheaper. I won't deduct a point, though.0 points.

Food - I had a burger. The pattie was far too thick, over cooked, rubbery and tasteless. It had some kind of god-awful "onion sauce" on it. Why? It's illogical. If you're going to put onions on a burger, just put onions on it. Don't mess around making some kind of stupid chutney-looking paste. Otherwise it was OK. The bun was nice. The chips were nice. I'm still not giving a point though. I can't get past that onion chutney shit ... 0 points.

Final Score - 1 out of 5.

THE BOAT, MINDARIE - BOYCOTTED

Oh dear :-(

30 second Bar Review - The Boat, Mindarie

Quite a popular little spot. Not with me.

Ambiance - nice lighting and furnishings. Fairly clean throughout. Attractive bar staff is a bonus. +1 point.
Pricing - Hmmm, over $9 for a pint of Heineken? Very suspect. I don't appreciate being ripped off. -1 point.
Patronage - Usual mix of 19-year olds trying to look cool, 50-year olds trying to look cool, and 30-year olds getting aboslutely smashed, jumping up and down screaming, and vomiting in the toilets (all witnessed in my 45 mins there). Can't complain. Not as rough as many places. Attractive bar staff is a bonus. +1 point.
Location - On the water, boats floating around, all that good stuff. Good amount of parking. +1 point.
Music - Hmm. It was live, and it was loud. I guess I'll award 1 point just for having live music. But it wasn't my cup of tea. How about some jazz, or light piano music? +1 point.
Aquariums - Too small for the fish contained. It's simply animal cruelty. And the live music? The fish must go insane having those vibrations pushed through their water. I'm in half a mind to ring the RSPCA about this. -2 points!

Final score - 1 out of 5
If they just got rid of the aquariums, and dropped their huge markup on the beer, they would score much better!

THE BOAT IN MINDARIE - BOYCOTTED