[Bike] Splitting like a knife through hot butter

Thought I'd give this a go. Rode into Fremantle for a nice fish and chips, then returned north along the freeways at around 5:30pm. As traffic was getting slower and slower, and I was wondering at what speed I should jump out and start splitting, two sports bikes split past me. I quickly jumped behind them and starting splitting through the cars like a scythe through dry wheat. Or something.

Don't think about it, just do it. It's like eating a strange vegetable for the first time. Or jumping into a swimming pool. Literally close your eyes, and do it. Actually, I joke about it, but since the sun was down and I was stuck using my tinted visor, I may as well have had my eyes closed. I could have flipped it up but (a) it's windy, and (b) if people can see my geeky face peering out, they might move over to block me. With the tinted visor down, they assume I'm a tough guy and are more likely to get out of my way.

Pretty fun, but I suppose everything gets old after you do it enough times. Yes everything. Filtering at the traffic lights was fun the first few days I was doing it. Now I don't really think about it. Like masturbation. It's the best thing in the world when you first discover it. By the time you're 30, it's just something you occasionally do when you want to guarantee a solid nights sleep. It's a chore, if anything. That's all I'm saying. Put out the bin bag, check the doors are locked, feed the fish, have a tug, sleep time. I often find my mind wandering to non-sexual topics and problems, while I'm .... Actually I'm going to leave that there.

One thing I noticed was that some cars would move to the side of the lane to let me through. Some seemed to drift over, and block me off. Or maybe they were just sloppy drivers and didn't even realise I was there.  Pathetic. They aren't even looking out for hard-to-spot, illegally-splitting motorcycles coming up behind them between the lanes. That's basic driving skills.

I tried to give a little "wave" to the guys who moved over. If they're on the left side, it's easy since I can fully twist my hand off the bar and extend my fingers to the side. On the right side it's a problem since I'm trying to maintain a certain throttle, and cover the brake lever. So I settled for a demented, retarded-looking three fingers, bent upwards, which they almost certainly couldn't see but which has now left my fingers aching.

-Gray

[Bike] Filtering at red lights

I've started doing this most of the time now. I couldn't just sit back, in the queue, while other bikes filtered past me. Sick of it.

One of the first things I noticed was, after splitting, I feel obligated to speed. If I split to the front, and then accelerate to sit on the speed limit, the cars I split past are going to be overtaking me. That's just silly. So I feel like I have to do 5 to 10 k's over the limit.

The other thing is aggressive bogans. I'm dreading the day that I push up in front of the lead car, which is being driven by "Haydenn" and his girlfriend "Shyanne". He's had a shitty day putting up scaffolding, he can't find any weed to buy for tonight, he's got little "Brayden" and "Jai" arguing in the back of the car, he's all out of VB, and now this clown on the motorcycle is pushing in front of him! YEAH NAH, MATE!! GET F*&%ED MATE!! And before I know it, he's floored it, and his SS Commodore (which he's struggling to pay off) is going to sideswipe me on his way past!

My bike isn't fast enough to beat an aggressive driver.

What happened to the good old 90's, when a bogan would be stuck driving a rusted-out Corolla or his mates shit-box van? Now they're getting paid crazy money, and they're rolling around in $60,000 "performance utes". Don't even get me started on the utes. Why do they pay more, for a car that seats less people, and a tray in the back that they're never going to fill with tools? With the $3,000 metallic paint job, they're never going to drive it onto the building site. "But it looks fully sick parked outside the Wanneroo pub, mate. And wait until I get that finance approved for the 20 inch chrome wheels!" For crying out loud, finish paying off your swimming pool, or actually invest some of your inappropriately high wages. Put something away for your kids education. You know damn well you're going to sell this ute in 2 years, take a massive loss, and then buy a jetski anyway.

And the suits at Holden start thinking, "Hey, let's take this already-impractical vehicle, which is rear-wheel drive yet has about 5% of it's weight on the back wheels, and fit a high-powered V8. People will buy that." Crazy. Even more crazy is that people bought them. By the thousands.

Wow I got off topic here.

-Gray